Men's Dating Tips

What To Do If You're Not 'Her Type'

***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have been trying C & F routine recently and it has been working like a charm. Your CD is incredible with information that builds on your book. An example of C & F happened recently. Women always make comments of my age and how I appear much younger than my age (i'm in my mid-thirties but appear to be 24-25). Before reading your book and listening to your CD, I would simply laugh or say thank you if a woman said I looked a lot younger than my age. Recently I was out with my friends and this good-looking woman said the same comment. My response was "come on, I'm not going to fall for a line that. You women just want me for my youthful looks". Then I continued busting on her and left with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked by my exchange with her and my success.

I have a question though Dave. What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states she does not like a certain type of guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but one happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and funny responses?

Thanks a million,

Disciple in Training in D.C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I really enjoy the way you've turned the issue of looking younger around and framed it as a woman's pathetic attempt to pick you up and use you.

This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all the right things... it creates sexual tension, humor, and a challenge all at the same time.

Very nice.

But the part of your email that I really like is the QUESTION you've asked.

You've asked:

"What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states she does not like a certain type of guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but one happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funny responses?"

Here's something that you must remember:

IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS IMPORTANT, THEN YOU'LL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOT FEEL ATTRACTION TOWARDS YOU.

Remember, ATTRACTION isn't a "logical" process. It really doesn't make very much sense (until you understand how it works, that is).

Just because a woman SAYS that she doesn't "like" a certain "type" of guy doesn't mean that she can't feel a POWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of this "type".

Are you with me here?

ATTRACTION is an emotional and physical RESPONSE.

A "type" is a PREFERENCE.

They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Here's a good example: Women are universally more interested in taller men. If you ask a woman what "type" of "height" ISN'T her type, she'll say something like "short guys" or "guys who are shorter than me" etc.

I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who said "I like shorter guys". Never.

But guess what?

I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the 5'2" to 5'6" range that are UNBELIEVABLE with women. They ALL date beautiful women who are taller than them.

So what's going on here?

ATTRACTION is what's going on.

So when you ask me how to use a Cocky & Funny line to turn a "perceived deficit" around, the FIRST thing I have to say is "Stop thinking of it as a deficit".

First you need to stop caring what a woman thinks of you ALL-TOGETHER.

Completely.

Totally.

100%.

If you care what she thinks of you, then you're probably going to start acting like a total WUSS, and you're going to screw things up INSTANTLY.

Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who look to them for approval.

Women feel ATTRACTION for men who are strong, independent, and not affected by the opinions of others.

So based on this new perspective, here are a few ways that you could handle a situation like this one...

1) NOT CARE AT ALL

One of the things you could do is just address the comment at all... as if it didn't even exist.

A mistake many people make is thinking that they MUST take every communication that another person takes seriously and then RESPOND to it.

Not so.

You don't have to do ANYTHING if you don't want to.

So if a woman says "I like tall guys" you can just act as if it had never been said, and continue with your conversation, getting her email/number, or whatever.

By the way, this concept can be EXTREMLY useful in other situations as well. For instance, if a woman starts getting upset about something and being overly dramatic, one great thing to do is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there and don't respond at all. Then, when it settles down a little, just continue your conversation as if nothing had happened (Oh, and stop hanging out with dramatic, overly-emotional women too, you dork!).

2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER

In this case, you're talking about height. One way to deal with this is to bring it up before she does.

As soon as you start talking say "Well, you're taller than me... I'm over it, are you yet?"

This says a few things. It says that you know what's going on... it says you're confident... and it shows that you're not afraid to deal with it.

It also addresses the issue in such a way that you'll know where she stands on it.

If she just CAN'T get past it, she'll tell you.

3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM

Here's a place to use Cocky & Funny.

You might say "Wow, you're kind of a freak. I think something like 1% of women are as tall as you. It must suck trying to find nice pants, huh? You have to wear all those weird pants made for freaks and stuff."

Or if she's talking about a trait that she's attracted to, point out the negative sides of that trait in a Cocky & Funny way.

Maybe she says "I like men who know how to treat a lady special, take her nice places, and who pay for everything to show that they're a gentleman".

You might say "Oh, so what you're telling me is that you like men who basically pay for your attention with money and gifts... how romantic."

...The one thing that you'll find at the bottom of all the ideas that I've just presented is FIRST OF ALL, NOT CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU.

I know that it's a paradox... you obviously want her to like you, but you have to not care what she thinks of you.

Well, get over it.

Women aren't attracted to men who are APPROVAL SEEKERS.

And if a woman throws out a comment like "I like tall guys", you must first learn to NOT CARE, and not let it impact you emotionally.

Then you'll be free to redirect the conversation and decide if she's the kind of woman that YOU would like to go out with.

By the way, when you are interacting with a woman, one of the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will determine whether or not she will feel ATTRACTION for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOW YOU COMMUNICATE THEM.

And you are constantly communicating your beliefs with your body language, voice tone, words, topics, questions, and everything else you do.

If you haven't downloaded my online eBook "Double Your Dating" yet, then you need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. It's the base and the foundation of everything I teach, and you can download it RIGHT NOW and be reading it within a few minutes. Go download it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

What Women Think About David D.

***QUESTION***

Hello David,

I want to say, your books are great, I just got them and I feel a lot more confident. I have a few questions. I go to a site... and read some of their articles every so often, they talk about wingmen and how to use your buddies to your advantage when trying engaging in conversation with women. What is your opinion about this and how do you use this if you do?

And the second question is also from the site; I have been talking to a woman for a few minutes and the conversation goes ok. I ask her name and she tells me. She never asks my name ever in the conversation, is that a sign she is not interested? Any help in clearing my confused head would be helpful.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

To answer your first question, there are positives and negatives about using a buddy for a "wingman".

My opinions:

1) If you go out with a wingman, make sure he's A LOT better than you at meeting women. Pay attention, let him lead, and learn from the situations you get into.

2) If you don't have any friends that are good with women, FIND SOME. I don't care what you have to do, just go do it... make some friends that are good with women, and watch closely as they communicate with women. You'll learn about 100 TIMES as much if you first read my book and listen to my CD Audio Series, because you'll know what to look for.

3) It's also a good idea to use a wingman if you need the "moral support" of a friend to get yourself started meeting women. But make sure that your friend can handle himself when talking to women. If he can't, he's probably going to make things worse and scare women away from you. Trust me, I've been through this one MANY times.

What I'm trying to say is that using a "wingman" is great if it works for you. Try it.

To answer your question of "if a woman never asks my name, is it a sign that she's not interested?"...

I'm going to answer this in two ways.

First, I'll say that if a woman doesn't ask your name, it MIGHT mean that she's not interested.

But the thing that concerns me about your question is that you're really looking in the wrong direction for clues to decide if a woman "likes you".

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF A WOMAN "LIKES" YOU!

The only thing that matters is whether or not she feels that powerful, magical, all-important emotion called ATTRACTION!

I've had women who were annoyed by me, bothered by me, and basically upset at me still feeling ATTRACTION for me because I did the right things.

I've had women who started out fighting with me at first feeling so attracted to me that they wouldn't leave me alone for the evening until I gave them my number.

My point is that you need to get over caring what a woman thinks about you... and start doing the right things.

If this doesn't make sense to you, then stay tuned and check out my Advanced Dating Techniques Program... really.


***QUESTION***

Dave,

Just want to tell you your material is very good and effective. I find that women love a guy that teases them and busts their balls. I find that they like it when a man approaches them and he is completely calm and cool, and even better in control of the situation. Now I admit this, sometimes the way I approach a girl or what I seem to talk about doesn't "hit em" how I wanted it too, like I seem to get boring, pretty damn quikly...and that is when my mind just starts to draw a blank and I dont know..it sucks. But sometimes I say the right things and I just know this for a fact becuz the girl will either have a smile on her face or I'll see her licking her lips...and from what u said in the DYD book thats a good thing...For example: today I was sitting at a round table with just me and a girl, we were facing each other, and I'd say she was about an 8. She dresses real pretty and I said something like "Do you dress nice everyday...Or are you just trying to impress me?" She smiled and licked her lips so I knew that I was right on track...but then I drew a blank... I didnt kno how to continue that convo. What are some normal topics to bring up in a conversation with a girl? What are some interesting ones that they just seem to be very into? What else would help me to keep the convo going and so I don't draw a blank and feel like a dork?  I appreciate all the help your book has done, reading about confidence and all that did help..and now I would just like to touch up and become more than just an amatuer. You do not have to post this on the newsletter but hope to hear from you soon.

Later,

D from CT

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a great question.

One of the most important things you can do is MENTALLY PREPARE for these kinds of situations.

Now, I don't want to sound like a weird motivational self-help guy, but mental preparation WORKS.

Take some time when you're alone, close your eyes, and actually plan out how you'd like interactions with women to go. If you've never done this before, you'll learn A LOT from it.

You'll think of things that you never would have imagined when you're taking things step by step in your mind.

One of the OTHER best things you can do is GET A JOURNAL so you can keep notes to yourself.

Try this:

Sit down and write out 20 great things you could have said in that situation, then go through and mentally imagine saying each one five times.

Another important thing to do is ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO GET HER INFORMATION AND WALK AWAY.

If you really sense that the conversation is about to end, you need to know how to ask for her email/number and go.

You can do this at any stage in the conversation, as soon as you'd like.

Here are a few good topics to try when talking to women:

1. Why women are crazy, and men are perfect.

2. That she should stop thinking of you only as a sex object.

3. What she needs to change to have a chance with you.

Of course, you need to be able to present these topics in a COCKY & FUNNY way so she LAUGHS while you're talking about them...

But you'll find that topics like these can create some good fun with women.


***QUESTION***

Hi David,

You are absolutely right! Being nice and wussy doesn't work AT ALL!!

Now, this technique of getting e-mail in three minutes... I must admit that it works very often. But it fails rather often too. Guess my success rate is only about 50% or something. That is, 40% gives a dummy address and 10% does NEVER respond. Maybe i'm doing something wrong here. But somehow i get the impression that most women are smarter than that. The most common response to that situation is something like: "What? You talk to me for a few minutes and you expect me to give my e-mail?"

My question could either be: "What am i doing wrong?" or "Is 50% the outcome that you would expect from this technique?". I let you decide which question you want to answer in the interest of your readers.

Anyway, you don't hear me complain. Because I've learned an awful lot from your book. And my success rates have at least doubled, if not tripled, after reading your stuff. And 50% is far better than where i come from.

Now, for my success story, this is an approach that gives me about 80% success. I talk to a woman for ten minutes (not three ;-)) and then i say something like "Hey, you seem to be rather smart... or is that just an impression?". When she says "no" i respond with: "Yeah right, that's what they all say! I bet you don't dare me to double check that!". Then i don't give her much time to respond. I immediately come back with: "Oh... you do? Okay... if you're up to the test, give me your e-mail. I'll send you some tricky questions and i expect SMART answers." I never mention "meeting" because that always seems to trigger some "pushing" alert.

Obviously, when she refuses to give her e-mail, i say: "See! That's exactly what i mean! Boy! Am i disappointed!".  I very often get her e-mail after that. And those seem to be ALWAYS correct addresses ;-)

Keep up the terrific job David! You are really HELPING!

Bye,
PhD (Belgium)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I love letters like this one.

You get good email addresses from HALF the women you talk to for three minutes?

I'd say that you're doing pretty well, cowboy.

Probably half of the women in this world are either married, in a relationship, lesbians (YES!), or in a bad mood.

Your technique for getting it up to 80% is great.

Challenging, funny, and interesting. It creates curiosity and comes across as low risk for the women. Very nice.

Just keep working on it, and you'll improve over time.

Good job!


***QUESTION***

Dear David,

I have to say, I am bloody disappointed with your advice at the moment...

I've used your tips, and written you on 2 occasions concerning different subjects. Your last mailbag actually spoke about an issue I'd had with a woman who I KNOW is interested in me, who gave me her number, told me she was busy and never called back.

I love music, so, I'm always in the CD shop at the local mall. There just happens to be a number of attractive women who work there. To make a long story short, one the girls starts being really nice to me after I start ripping on her, always waving saying hi, going out of her way to serve me on occasions. Hell, once I heard a co worker run out the back and say "he's here" and she came running out to ask if I need looking after... Never really acted interested though, didn't speak about much other than "how was your weekend" stuff.

So I start running into her at a club. Again she goes out of her way to say hi. So finally she waved from across the room one day and I signal her to come over as I was getting a drink, she runs over and gives me a hug and a kiss hello!! (I don't really know this girl from a bar of soap). I was really tired, had only slept 4 hrs the night before, was pretty drunk, it was late too and I was about to leave.

Basically I could have taken her home right then and there (trust me!!) but instead I just said for her to give me her number that I'd take her out sometime.  Didn't offer her a drink, just said I had to go back to my friends, then we left.

I had been supposed to visit her the next day, it was usually the day I went shopping, but I was busy.  I call her the day after, she acted fully uninterested said she was going away for 10 days and that she'd call after she'd packed that day. Such as yet, no call... I don't care, she'll pay when I see her again... in a few weeks (sometimes it's a weeks in between visits). I'd say we r playing a game now.

Also, just recently had a girl who I'd known thru a friend start msging me, asking to come over to spend time with me, she said 'chat', but she didn't want to chat. I'd busted on her a bit before that started happening.

The issue here with your advice is this...

How the hell do I get these girls to stop throwing "IT" at me?? It's no fun when I just get it served up. It's not like I get a chance to tell em that I'm not easy, they don't say in that many words that they want to sleep with me. You just know.

I like to play with them a bit and see if they r gonna be worth the trouble... and I want to know a bit about a girl before I sleep with them.

Damn dave, what's going on?? I'm just too good for my own good it seems, how can I slow things down and get em to play a bit longer??

Cheers!!!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You're asking the wrong guy the wrong question... Ha Ha!

I've helped you get to the point where women are "throwing themselves at you", and you want to know how to SLOW THEM DOWN?

Maybe go check out some "mars and venus" books or something.

Or watch some Dr. Phil or Oprah.

I don't know... this just isn't my area of specialty.

You're killing me over here.


***QUESTION***

Thanks a lot David, NOT!!! I've been reading your mails for a while now and I've unconsciously been integrating the "Cocky & Funny" into my personality (which is great by the way), and it's so much fun that I've realized that I do it all the time (I've also realized that being cocky and funny with a girl is just as if you were messing around with your male friends' heads). But yeah so I've got a complaint or success story, I'm not sure which it is: so there's this girl who I've met about a year ago and we've been best friends since then... and then the other day she admitted to my face that she had been in love with me for the past six months!!!!!!!! It makes me feel great about myself...but on the other hand it sucks cuz she was a really great friend, almost a sister, so I'll never be able to go out with her (and there's nothing wrong with the looks or anything). So yeah, I think you should put a surgeon general's warning on your "Cocky&Funny". WARNING: May cause you to be unexplainably attractive to (almost) anyone! So yeah, a word of advice to all those reading the newsletters, be careful who you use the C&F with!

Nick, the Belgian


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, another horrible side effect.

I really should stop teaching this stuff and be a monk or something.


***SUCCESS STORY FROM A WOMAN***

You answered my email in a recent mailbag... (see below)

Thank you for answering me so quickly.  Your mini-van comment, while making me want to vomit, made me realize I had to do something - and fast!  On our next date I said something obnoxious to him and he gave me a funny look. Before he could say anything I said, "you know sometimes I can get kinda obnoxious, and when I do... just tell me to shutup, - and from that point on he didn't let me get away with anything!  He is a "real man" after all!!  Yeah~! And you said trying to teach a guy how to stop acting like a WUSSY isn't easy ;)

Later that night when we were saying good-bye, he said he was going to come by my work to visit, I asked him what time he'd be there, and he just said "you'll see" with a smirk.  I smiled, said "good answer," kissed him, and left.

Ah, the miracle of attraction!  Can't wait to see him again...thank you for saving this relationship, and for saving me from dying of boredom!

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you


***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

I have been reading your emails for about 6 months and think you are totally, exactly, completely, right on target. I just started dating a guy that I am attracted to and I who really like, but I don't feel strong attraction. I realized that it's because I'm a bit of a smartass, and most of the time when I bust on him, he takes it - I really don't want him to at all, ever!  Do you have any advice for women on how to get a man to "be a man"?!  Is there something I could say to him that would do the trick? Maybe a little less blunt than "I really need a man who won't take my crap, can you do that?"  He doesn't have email (yes, he does have electricity!) and I don't know him well enough yet to tell him to buy your book - we've only had one date. I just want him to stop letting me get away with being a brat! Please don't tell me I have to stop being a brat - that would ruin the fun. I look forward to your speedy reply - as we'll be going on another date this weekend!  Thanks for all that you do for the women of the world. You are my hero. :)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, yes. That's me...

David DeAngelo, the unselfish helper of women.

Well, here's the deal. Trying to teach a guy how to stop acting like a WUSSY isn't easy.

I would suggest that you send him to my website and tell him to read my newsletters.

I realize that it doesn't sound very romantic, but you have a choice: Either help him to stop acting so damn "nice" or tell him to get lost.

Hey, maybe he'd make a "Sweet, minivan driving house-husband" for you?

Sounds charming, doesn't it?

NOTE TO GUYS: Women aren't ATTRACTED to "nice".


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Am I really reading this stuff?

I've now got women who are teaching men this material because they just can't deal with the WUSS FACTOR any longer...

It's really too much.

The lesson:

A WOMAN WOULD RATHER TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT LIKE A REAL MAN THAN DEAL WITH A WUSSY.

Unreal.


***QUESTION***

Dave,

I just got your book after receiving the newsletters for a few months and my eyes were really opened to how many new skills I need to acquire. In the past 6 months (before reading your book) I went from being too nice to becoming a prick. After reading your book, I now see that there is much, much more to it and that it's ok to be nice sometimes, but only on your terms.  I am having a ton of more fun now and am def. getting reactions from women, but I realize I need to find a middle ground. Being cocky came a little too easy for me and right now I am focusing on adding  humor to my personality to balance it. I got Helitzer's book but it seems a bit overwhelming. What helped you the most when it came to adding humor to your personality and where is a good place to start? One thing I would recommend to all readers is to find a good female friend to discuss your material with. They will prove to you that this stuff is really attention getting and will help you improve overall.

Thanks in advance.

AW in Pa

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You've brought up a great point here.

It's SOOOO important that you find the balance between Cocky and Funny...

If you're too cocky and arrogant you'll come across as insecure, and if you're too funny without adding any of the magic of being Cocky, then you'll come across as stupid and goofy.

You must strike the balance.

You'll know when you're getting it right, because the responses from women will become very powerful.

Even if the reading is difficult, I still recommend that you read the comedy book you purchased. It's great.

As I recommended to another reader above, take the time to write out ideas for different situations, then rehearse them in your mind.

You'll know when you find the right balance.


***QUESTION***

Dave,

I am from a Latin American country so forgive my english if i make some mistakes. I met a girl in a trip to the beach and i really liked her very much.  I met some of her friends and asked what was her phone number. Several weeks after that i call her and talk some time and i had to hang up. some time after that i called her again and we talked for hours and she seemeed very interested in me so we stop talking. One time i called her to her celular and she didnt answer and inmediatly she called to my house that showed me that she was interested in me. But then i called her almost daily and she sort of got bored and when the conversation got to about a minute she told me she had to go. I insisted on calling her more but that only brought bad results and i ask her if i didnt like her i think i realy blew it with her because i acted like a wuss.

It has passed about 3 months without talking to her i have run with her a few times but ignore her i dont know why. i was really pissed off but some friends of her that are also my friends told me that she sort of liked me. i knew she liked me before i acted like a wuss but i think enough time have passed and i would like to talk to her again because during those 3 months i thought about calling her everyday and i would want some advice so i can know what to do. Please answer quickly i am waiting eagerly for your answer. Please excuse some of my expressions english is not my first language.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, you hit the nail on the head.

When you start calling a woman too often, acting clingy and needy, and generally behaving like a total WUSS BAG, you're probably going to drive her away.

Don't do it anymore!

You need to move on, and get over it.

It's a hard thing for most guys to accept, but when you've convinced a woman beyond the shadow of any reasonable doubt that you are a world-class WUSSY, you just need to move on.

It's an uphill battle to try to convince her otherwise, so just get on with your life, and don't make the same mistake again.

Repeat after me:

"I will stop acting like a WUSS"


***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

I don't think I'll start my e-mail with a success story since I'm a woman and have the freedom to walk into any bar, walk up to any man and tell him, "by the end of tonight you'll be in bed with me" and it will happen. 

I've been using your techniques on men for years but never could put into words how or why it worked. I think most of your principles are true for both sexes.  My friends often accuse me of being a man on the inside and this is why. I am a very confident, self sufficient 22 yr old woman, about an 8 on a 1-10 scale.  Add on top of this the fact that I use your C+F techniques.

Most times I just meet men that I can walk all over and lose interest in the first 30 seconds (this is why I'm compared to men).  Every now and then I meet a man who also knows how the attraction thing works and we hit it off and have a great "mental tennis" match.  This is the problem. The men I do meet that can match me and keep my interest are great for a little while, but then once they realize I can keep up with them and please them in bed like most women won't, they get over excited and turn into wussies. They start telling me how they've looked their whole life for a woman like me and yadda yadda.  That's great and I appreciate the compliments, but they aren't keeping up the C+F/self confidence and I lose interest--FAST.  Case in point:  I met a guy who was about a 6 on a 1-10 scale.  He had the whole C+F thing going on. Everything was great for a few dates until he confessed to me that he felt like he was "playing out of his sandbox" and that he didn't understand why someone as beautiful as I would continue to see him.  In the snap of a finger I lost all interest in him because at that point, I was above him instead of on equal playing ground. 

So this is my question:  Is there a secret underground society of double your dating fanatics that actually know how to keep a woman's interest?  and if so where do I find these men?  Also, since I'm sure there isn't one, can you give me any ideas as to how to keep men at a safe enough distance that they don't feel like confiding all their insecurities in me?

Thanks, David, you truly are an attraction genius! Keep up the great work!

K.H. in Ogden, UT

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yes, there is a secret underground society of Double Your Dating fanatics who actually know how to keep a woman's interest.

But the bad news is that THEY'RE NOT IN OGDEN, UTAH!

Was that your first guess about where they'd be located?

Are you sure that you're as sharp as you say you are?

I don't know if I personally buy it.

I've used your email to point out something VERY IMPORTANT TO MY READERS...

MOST GUYS, EVEN WHEN THEY "GET IT", EVENTUALLY TURN INTO TOTAL WUSS-BAGS AND STOP DOING THE THINGS THAT ORIGINALLY MADE A WOMAN FEEL ATTRACTION FOR THEM.

This is when the woman usually hits the road, and the man is left thinking "What did I do wrong... I was such a NICE GUY."

This is a bad thing, so don't do it.


***QUESTION***

Dave the Expert, i never in a million years thought a book like yours would ever come out and help millions of guys out here that constantly struggle to find the exact way to attract a woman! And your book is IT...hands down!!!! i have had a lot of success these past eight months ever since i bought your book and from reading your newsletters. i've never dated so many women, it's grrrrrreat! but the time has come for me to ask you a question that i am practically begging you to respond to. i finally met this terrific girl who i think is the "one" 4 months ago and we've been dating since but we just recently broke up because she moved to college about 4 hours away from me. it hurt me so bad. i used the cocky/funny approach to reel her in at the beginning and kept up the cocky/funny attitude the whole way through until...the break up.  ouch! you see, we are both dancers and we both dance in the same dance studio but she only comes down from college to practice maybe once every couple of weeks because her and i are in a duet together. we have a competition in about a month so i couldn't just back out of it but it is really awkward having to dance with her because i still have feelings for her and our duet is a very emotional dance w/ a lot of feeling involved. we broke up because she said that college was stressing her out so much and she felt that our relationship wouldn't work because long distance relationships are hard and we couldn't see each other as much as we wanted to. plus, she is on scholarship and she can't let herself make bad grades or else she can't maintain her scholarship. she didn't mean this in a bad way but told me that i was a little cause of her stress because we would talk on the phone when she was supposed to be doing homework.  w/ all the homework and the dance team practices up there she stays busy and rarely ever gets to come down except to practice our duet. we've agreed to just be friends but dave, it just doesn't feel right. i want to be more than friends but i just don't see a way for this relationship to work out and have it be the way it was when we first started dating! i miss her so much and would do anything to get her back and i think i screwed up by telling her that! i told her that i would make time for her and that i never felt this way about a girl before, which is true. god, i know i was a complete wussy after we broke up but i felt that it was the right thing to do because after 4 months it didn't seem to matter if i spilled my feelings to her, right? dave, i need to know what to do to get her back because i still have to dance w/ her and i don't want to feel uncomfortable and insecure when i'm around her. any advice would greatly be appreciated!

-R.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I'm glad you've had so much success with the materials, and I appreciate the feedback.

I don't usually respond to "relationship" questions... but I just can't help this one.

You've switched into WUSS BOY mode, and you're only shooting yourself in the foot, man.

Get on with your life, stop acting like a wussy, and quit telling her that you'd "do anything to get her back".

I know it's what you FEEL like saying, but it will only make you look weaker and weaker if you keep it up and don't just put it behind you and move on.

If you want to have any chance at all of this relationship working out, you're going to have to quit acting whipped and needy.

Now use what you've learned to go meet some new women and stop acting like a Wuss.


***QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

I've been reading your articles for the past 2 weeks, i think it is so awesome, and i'm soon going to buy your book. i wanted to tell you that i have no problems with women when i'm not attracted to them, but if they are a perfect 10 i get scared, and i can't even say hi to them, help me, how can i overcome this fear of pretty girls?

When the girl is not so hot i don't have any problems talking to them, getting their phone number and going on a date with them, the problem is how do i attract the beautiful women and how should i approach and actually start a conversation with them?

thanks G.
i appreciate your help.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, first of all, go check out an issue of the magazine that goes by the name of Perfect 10.

You'll see that the women in there are all over the map.

In other words, every guy has a different idea of what a "10" is.

Yes, some women are obviously more attractive or "fixed up" than others, but we all have different tastes, and in the morning when she wakes up she's going to look a WHOLE LOT different than she does when you first see her.

So remember that this girl who is a "10" to you is only a 6 or 7 to another guy. That should help.

Next, if you can't figure out how to get over your fear of approaching beautiful women, then you're going to have to just face your fear and do it anyway.

To start with, just focus on saying ANYTHING to the women you see. You need to see for yourself and teach your mind and body not to be afraid of women.

I don't care if you walk up to the next 100 women you see and say "You're beautiful... can I have your autograph?"

lol... that's pretty funny... I just might try that one myself come to think of it.

My point is that you need to JUST DO SOMETHING!

Most of the anxiety involved in approaching attractive women comes from the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN and the FEAR OF EMBARRASSMENT OR REJECTION.

Once you actually approach a bunch of women and talk to them, you'll find that nothing bad is going to happen to you. This works wonders.

Then, when you've gotten past your fear, you can lead the conversations into getting numbers, etc.

And SPEAKING of overcoming fear, starting conversations with women, getting numbers, getting dates, and learning how to take things to a PHYSICAL level with women smoothly and without rejection...

...I've spent a loooong time studying this topic.

In fact, I've put more time, effort, and study into this area than just about anyone I have ever met (and I've met some guys who are pretty darn good with women).

A few years ago I decided to do something kind of crazy with all this amazing stuff I learned about women and dating... I wrote it all down. In fact, I not only wrote it all down, but I organized it into logical sections, then created a BOOK.

That book is called "Double Your Dating".

And then I did something ELSE that's kind of crazy.

Instead of printing copies of the book, I decided to only make it available on the INTERNET... as a downloadable "eBook".

Gotta love technology.

And get this... if you'd like to get a copy of this book, you can download it right now and literally be reading it within a few minutes... from your computer screen.

Go here to download it:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

And I'll talk to you soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

Mind Tricks For Attracting And Meeting Women

In this article we're going to deal with possibly the BIGGEST problem guys run into with women.

I'd like to talk a bit about how we program ourselves and become programmed when it comes to dealing with women... as well as how to overcome the negative programming that we often don't even recognize within ourselves.

Let me as you a few questions. Take a moment to think about the answers... maybe even write them down.

1) When it comes to women, do you have an overall "positive" outlook towards your success? Do you believe that there is "abundance" when it comes to women, and that you can go out at any time and get a date if you want to? Why or why not?

2) Do you have any negative beliefs or programming when it comes to the idea of APPROACHING women you'd like to meet or asking women out on dates? Do you believe that you're going to be intruding or annoying a woman if you approach her? Do you believe that a woman will most likely accept or reject a date request from you?

3) Have you CHOSEN the beliefs and attitudes that you have towards women, or have they been "chosen for you" by others, situations, programming, TV, the media, etc.?

4) Would you like to change some of the attitudes and beliefs that you hold in your mind? If so, which ones and what would you like to change them to?

If you're like most guys I know who would like to improve their success with women, then you probably have one or two "negative programs" in your unconscious mind (if you're like I used to be before I learned the things I know now, then you might have A LOT of them).

I can remember when I used to believe that women would be VERY offended or alarmed if I tried to strike up an unexpected conversation with them...

I can remember feeling that if a woman rejected me in front of other people that I WOULD DIE of embarrassment.

I can remember thinking "Why would a woman find ME attractive?" and not believing that the truly desirable, beautiful women out there just wouldn't find a guy like me interesting or attractive because I wasn't rich, tall, famous, buff, or of royal descent.

And as a matter of fact, even though I've spent literally YEARS reprogramming myself and learning as much as I could about women and attraction, I still know that somewhere deep in my unconscious mind that this old programming exists. Of course, it doesn't affect my behavior the way it used to, but my point is that once you program yourself or open yourself to programming from others and from our modern culture, it's sometimes a challenge to overcome that programming and go on to be successful.

Let me give you a little Tough Love:

NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT WITH WOMEN. AND NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL.

Really.

If you learn how to meet and date the kinds of women that you've always wanted, it won't matter to anyone. Your friends won't think you're any cooler (well, maybe a little), your mom won't stop nagging you, your boss won't pay you more money, and you won't lose that extra 10 pounds that you've needed to lose for the past 10 years.

It just doesn't matter. No one cares.

THE ONLY PERSON THAT CARES IS YOU.

And the only one that's going to be able to do anything about this programming that we're talking about is YOU.

Your buddies aren't going to come over tomorrow night and say "Hey, you know, I've been thinking about it. You really need to do something about your unconscious programming in the area of women and dating, and I'd like to help you."

Your mom isn't going to call you up and say "You know, dear, I've been thinking about it, and I really put some bad ideas in your mind about how to treat women... I'd like to address those things in this call and help you become the mac daddy you've always wanted to be."

Nope.

You're not going to get a call from the guys that run the ads that say "Show her that you love her by spending five grand on a pair of diamond earrings" to tell you that the ads really aren't true, and that no amount of diamonds will help you meet women if you're programmed to act like a WUSSY.

It just ain't gonna happen that way.

If you want to do something about your programming and your success, you're going to have to DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

Here, let me say that again... just in case you didn't get it...

YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

And what's the best way to do it yourself?

This is a fantastic question...

There are a lot of ways to get going, but I have a few favorites... and since we only have a little time together in this newsletter, I'll get right to the point...

1) Look around and pay careful attention to what's REALLY going on. Just like a comedian looks at the fine details and tells stories about things that we never see... but are right there in front of us, you need to look closer.

Here's a little story.

I was in Vegas awhile back for a visit. I hadn't been to Vegas in about 4 years, so everything seemed new to me... there were about 5 huge new hotels that had just opened, and I spent the day walking around and just seeing the sights.

As I walked around, I looked at the people... and especially at the couples. I'm not sure if it was because I was looking at all of the new sights or what, but for some reason I was really noticing a lot of little details... and I was paying special attention to the couples that were strolling around on the strip.

It's always amazing to me how attractive women will be with guys of all shapes, sizes, and ages...

When you really look around and pay attention to what's actually going on, you'll be amazed.

And you don't have to be in Vegas to see this phenomenon yourself. Just go out on a Friday night and look around.

Now, before you say "Yea, but if you're rich or handsome or tall you'll get more chicks" I will acknowledge that these things can provide certain advantages, but they're not NEAR the level of advantage that WOMEN get from being physically attractive... not even close, actually.

The more I pay attention, learn, and try things, the more I realize that women respond to PERSONALITY far more than they respond to LOOKS.

I've even made it a point to ask guys who are tall, handsome, etc. if they believe that their success with women comes from those things. Almost universally they tell me that their ATTITUDES and SKILLS are far more important than their looks.

I've also met a lot of tall, good-looking guys at my seminars who have INCREDIBLE problems meeting women. The more experience I have with this, the more I realize just how little LOOKS has to do with the equation.

You've probably read some of these newsletters where good- looking guys write in and say "I'm buff, good looking, and I have women talking to me all the time, but I can't get any dates... they only like me as a friend."

So part of this step is for you to take a day or so and go out in public... to a place that is PACKED with people, and look around at the couples. Look with your own two eyes and see all of the attractive women that are with guys who are NOT what you would consider to be "physically attractive."

You need to see with your own eyes what's going on in the REAL world.

This is a big step in changing some of your programming.

2) Watch some guys who are successful with women.

One of the best things I've ever done is make friends with some REALLY SUCCESSFUL guys (I'm talking about success with women here). As a matter of fact, most of the techniques that I've learned, developed, and write about originally started out as something I got from a friend by watching them interact with women.

When you watch guys who know how to make women feel that magical emotion called "ATTRACTION", you'll start to see the patterns in their behavior, and the patterns in the responses from women.

Nothing can replace watching a guy walk up to a woman, start talking to her, and walk away 5 minutes later with her number.

So make some new friends if you have to. Just do what it takes to watch some guys interact with women. It's a big one.

3) Stop looking for a "magic pill". Realize that you're going to have to CONSTANTLY learn and improve.

I know, I know. You'd like to take a pill and have this whole part of your life handled.

You'd like a computer chip implanted in your brain that will change you into a chick-magnet.

Well, until these things exist, you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way... you're going to have to actually DO SOMETHING.

At first, it might seem a little uncomfortable. You might feel weird going out to a bar alone just to look at the people.

But don't worry, no one will care (remember what I said earlier... nobody cares whether or not you're successful, only you do).

The more you improve, the more you'll WANT to improve, and the easier it will become.

Read books, try things, experiment. Keep a journal, write down what works and what doesn't, think about the things you'd like to change and write them down.

JUST KEEP IMPROVING A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME.

If you do these things, you'll begin to REPROGRAM YOURSELF and change your negative programming into POSTIVE programming and success.

Of course, the best place to start is with some of the materials that I've put together...

It took me years of trial and error to really figure out what works with women.

Repeat: It took me YEARS.

Years of trial and error.

I'm talking about trying out everything you can imagine...and having MOST of it not work.

Every time I found something that DID work, I took the idea, refined it, and wrote it down.

After a few years of doing this, I put all of my best ideas into a book... that book is called "Double Your Dating", and if you want to get a copy, you can go and DOWNLOAD it right now... and read it in "eBook" format on your computer. If you get it now, you can be reading it in a few minutes. You can go and get it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

How To Act On The First Date

***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***

As you might imagine, I get a lot of guys writing in asking some variation of the question:

"How should I act on the first date?"

I get a lot of specific questions that are basically variations of this... things like:

"What should we talk about?" and "How do you keep the conversation interesting?"

So instead of answering one specific question, I'm going to lump them all together... and I'm going to just address them all in this Q&A Dating Tip.

Here goes...

THE FIRST DATE ISN'T AN INTERVIEW

The first thing to remember when you're meeting up with a girl for "a date" is that it's NOT an INTERVIEW.

You're not applying for a job (and neither is she), so don't act like it.

It's so funny to me when I sit down in a restaurant and I hear a couple that's obviously out on their first date... and the guy has no idea what to do.

It sounds like this:

"So, did you grow up around here?"

"Where did you go to school?"

"Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"What kinds of things do you like to do for fun?"

Painful.

Why is it that people tend to act like they're on job interviews when they go out on dates?

It's just such the NOT-right thing to do.

I mean, no wonder women sit around with each other and complain about how hard it is to find an interesting guy in this world.

Here's a good rule of thumb:

ONLY ASK QUESTIONS OR TALK ABOUT COMMON, BORING, PREDICTABLE TOPICS LIKE SCHOOL, WORK AND FAMILY IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY RUN OUT OF ALL OTHER OPTIONS... AND YOU REALLY ENJOY THAT CURIOUS DRY FEELING RIGHT WHERE YOUR LEGS MEET.

And why is this?

Good question. And I'm glad you asked.

First, let's talk about WHY most guys allow the conversation to turn to these ultra-boring topics...

Most guys approach a first date from the perspective of "I don't want to screw this up".

In other words, they try to play it safe and not do anything or say anything that the girl might not like.

They try to present themselves as "nice guys" who love mom, have a good job, and are stable.

Somehow, guys have gotten the idea that if they act nice, buy dinner, and talk about the same old things that everyone else uses to bore women to tears that they might get lucky and score (or at least get a kiss and a second opportunity to buy dinner).

I don't know where this concept came from, but it's just not a very effective approach.

WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO THE SAME OLD SAME OLD, BORING, PREDICTABLE CONVERSATION.

Attraction happens when there is energy, spice, humor, mystery... COCKY AND FUNNY... and special sauce.

So if you want to create ATTRACTION instead of BOREDOM, you're going to have to learn a new way.

You're going to have to learn to talk about something else.

The trick to not talking about the "usual" things is to know how to make conversation INTERESTING.

Let me ask you... what are the most INTERESTING topics to humans in general?

Hint: Think best-selling books and TV shows...

Right - drama, violence, scandal, and comedy that is painful to one of the parties involved.

Here are a few good ideas for conversation that come to mind:

-Any Hollywood scandal involving anyone famous and anyone of the opposite sex that's famous

-Any relationship drama going on between any pop star and their new or ex boy/girl friend

-Anything that has to do with hip hop artists spending too much money on rims that spin or diamonds in their teeth

These topics will light up a conversation like nobody's business. And they create all kinds of opportunities to be cocky and funny while talking about the misfortunes and neurotic behavior of others.

The trick is that you must remember you're NOT there to impress her, and you're NOT on a job interview.

The more you act nervous, stilted, and uncomfortable... like you're trying to impress her and get her approval... and like you don't want to say anything that might make her disapprove of you, the less likely you are to trigger that all-important ATTRACTION inside of her.

And here's a real twist on this theme:

If SHE starts asking the "normal" questions about school, job, family, etc. this is a perfect opportunity to bust on her and say "What, is this a job interview?"

Or "Can't you think of something interesting to talk about? Please, spare me the pain of the usual school-job-family conversation. Let's save that until we're picking names for our kids."

If you MUST talk about something "normal" or "regular", try sprinkling in a few of these ideas:

1) History. Women love to hear stories about the history of places. If you're in an interesting part of town, tell her the story of how the area came to be named, or why the city was built where it is. And if the story involves a tale of love and/or scandal, all the better.

2) Anything superficial, classy, and basically meaningless.  Try learning a little about fashion, this way you can make fun of it while acting like you know what you're talking about. "Didn't Madonna really screw up the fashion world with this whole over-the-top fake cowboy look thing?"

3) Comedy Psychological Analysis. Have fun by giving your wild perspective on others. "You know, I've been trying to figure out why so many people these days are going postal and shooting everyone. I think it might be all the lame music that's on the radio these days..." This one can be a lot of fun... be creative.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

If you want to keep her interest, then you have to be INTERESTING.

The old-fashioned act-like-you're-on-a-job interview rap just doesn't cut it.

Now, for some guys, the ideas that I've just talked about will make sense, but they won't come naturally.

That's OK. You may have to work on this for awhile, especially if you've spent the last 25 or so years doing the wrong thing.

Old Proverb: "No matter how far down the wrong road you've gone, TURN BACK."

So remember, attraction isn't a choice. And attraction doesn't make logical sense. If you want to create that magical "chemistry", then you're going to have to LEARN and PRACTICE it.

Repeat after me.

Out loud.

"I am not going on an interview... I am not going on an interview... I am not going on an interview..."

Good. Keep that in mind.

NOW, as you can probably guess, there's a hell of a lot more to making a woman feel ATTRACTION for you than just a few cute conversation tricks.

If only it were that easy...

But the good news is that you don't have to take YEARS of trial and error, and deal with one failure after another... and not understand WHY you're failing.

I've spent a LONG time... a lot of my life... researching, testing, and finding the exact, step-by-step techniques that work the best for attracting women and making them feel that powerful emotion called ATTRACTION.

And I'd really like to share what I've learned with you.

Download my online eBook.  You can download it right now and be reading it in LITERALLY minutes. It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your friend,

David D.

Are You AFRAID Of Approaching Women?

I'd like to address a problem that is so common that it seems silly to even mention it.

It's the idea that too often we use our powerful minds and emotions to cause ourselves to FAIL with women rather than SUCCEED with women.

Fear of women can actually become a HABIT that leads to failure.

Let me ask you a question:

Have you ever been in a situation where you saw a woman that you wanted to meet, but you didn't go over and talk to her?

Duh. Of course... we all have.

This is a UNIVERSAL. We've all been there so many times that the question doesn't even need to be asked.

But the question I want to answer is "Why?"

Why is it that when we see a woman that we'd like to me we don't just walk over and start talking to her?

What is it that we're doing inside of our heads that is preventing us from just DOING IT?

Why do we do to prevent ourselves from being successful, when it would be SOOOO EASY?

And an even MORE interesting question is:

How do we overcome this self- defeating pattern of thought and action?

I have one friend who I've seen get 25 phone numbers over the course of a weekend (I saw him get every one of them)... and all of them were from women that he had met on the spot.

Most of them took less than 5 minutes to get.

Now, I have many OTHER friends that can't even ask a woman for her number after they've talked to her a HUNDRED TIMES... and they KNOW she's single.

By the way, I have a LOT more of this type of friend...

So what the hell is going on here?

Well, like most answers to questions like this one, the explanation and solution is both very simple and VERY complex.

The short answer is that most of us guys let our initial EMOTIONAL REACTIONS and our IMAGINATIONS to keep us from taking action.

In other words, we see a woman we'd like to meet, we become nervous (for reasons we can't explain logically), we feel FEAR, we make all kinds of negative MENTAL IMAGES, and we finally just decide that it isn't worth it... so we just walk away.

But isn't this CRAZY behavior?

I mean, it doesn't make any sense at all when you REALLY reflect and think about it, right?

Doesn't it make sense that we should just REALIZE that nothing bad is going to happen, and instantly change how we behave towards women?

Now that we KNOW what we do, shouldn't we be able to just walk out the door and start meeting women RIGHT NOW?

Well, yes... we SHOULD be able to do that.

But like I mentioned, there's an aspect of this problem that is very COMPLEX... and therefore not as easy to change quickly.

As any dog trainer will tell you, a bad HABIT isn't always easy to change. If you've been doing this for awhile, then it might take more than just some positive thinking to get this handled.

I just read a fascinating book called "Mean Genes" awhile back that was written by a couple of evolution specialists (Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan).

Inside this book, these guys point out that humans are HORRIBLE at assessing risk and return, and that they often make horrible decisions for themselves.

But here's the kicker: We all make the SAME risk/return mistakes in the SAME situations... and this is most likely a GENETIC pre-disposition!

In other words, WE'RE BORN WITH IT.

So you might see a woman that you'd like to talk to, then use your imagination to create some painfully scary ideas about how you might get rejected (which wouldn't happen in a million years) and then you feel a wave of fear and nervousness wash over your entire body... and you decide it's just not worth it, so you walk away.

This is that "automatic bad risk/return system" in action.

And often, these poor decisions cause us to say to ourselves "Damn it. Why do I keep doing that? I'm a such a loser..." and we beat ourselves up even MORE over it.

As you know, these can become self-fulfilling prophesies and just make themselves BIGGER over time.

So what's the answer?

Well, first you have to BREAK THE HABIT of making yourself feel BAD and AFRAID, and LEARN the habit of making yourself feel GOOD and OPTIMISTIC.

Remember, you've been doing things the way you do them for a long time now, so it might take some PRACTICE to be able to do this in the moment every time you need to...

Here are some action steps:

1) Take some time to vividly imagine the BEST possible outcome of walking up and talking to a woman that you find attractive. Every time you see a woman that you'd like to meet, just do this. Try it for a few days. Then realize that this BEST outcome is far more likely than your WORST idea of what could happen. Read that again. Your BEST outcome IS FAR MORE LIKELY than your worst.

2) Make a "realistic" list of the worst things that could happen, then decide exactly what you'd do if any of them actually did happen. You'll realize that you can deal with them and live through it.

3) Realize that NOT taking the risk to meet a woman is actually a BIGGER risk in the LONG RUN of your overall life. If you risk NOT meeting her, you'll never know what might have happened, and if you let it become a habit, it will keep you from realizing ALL your dreams in life.

Think about it... in any given situation, YOU have the opportunity to make a "free bet": Your bet is you walking over and starting a conversation.

Possible loss: Getting turned down.

Possible gain: Use that creative imagination.

You do the math.

This is like going to Las Vegas and having a casino say to you "OK, you can bet all day long as much as you want. If you win, you keep all the money. If you lose, you lose nothing."

Are you with me?

Use this concept to go out and overcome your habit of not talking to women. Do it now.

By the way, if you have other "inner issues" that you need to address in the area of women and dating, I want to mention that my Advanced Dating Techniques program contains several HOURS of in-depth explanations, techniques, and other tools for overcoming fear... and getting yourself to a positive mental/emotional place for meeting women.

If you'd like to improve your self confidence while at the SAME TIME learning great new skills and techniques to approach, meet, and date the kinds of women that you've always wanted, then this is the program for you.

And in my downloadable online ebook "Double Your Dating" I devote almost an entire chapter to showing you how to improve your self-image and confidence with women. If you haven't downloaded your copy yet, go here and get it:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

Make sure you read through the entire site as well, because there are some GREAT tips available inside as well.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

What To Do AFTER You Get Her Number

>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

[NOTE: This is a short question, and it refers to another newsletter I sent out. If you don't immediately get it, just read my answer and all will become clear.]

"The Guy in the bar Story...

"Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got the waitress' phone number?"

This is "Ultra Extra Important" you said. I think I know why he should have left, he was probably starring at her all night and she was turned off by it, but give me your complete insight on why he should have left immediately after getting her e-mail.

Thanks, R."

>>>MY COMMENTS:

As I said in the newsletter you quoted above, this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this point is part of understanding the dynamic called ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let's talk about the underlying process that creates ATTTRACTION...

1. ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.

ATTRACTION is natures way of taking over our minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we mate with someone with the best possible genes.

I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical" and lame, but it's the damn truth.

Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, or love. It's evolved over a loooong period of time, and it has a purpose that is very important.

2. ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it isn't created by things that "should" create it.

Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when you first meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get their approval are examples of "logical" thing that SHOULD create attraction... but don't.

When you understand how attraction works, you begin to see that it has a "logic" all its own.

3. Women aren't attracted to guys who act like needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to go out of their way to be overly "nice", it usually backfires.

Women run from Wussy men (either that or they go shoe shopping with them... and the guy usually pays).

4. Unfortunately, many guys are mentally programmed to a sort of "Default Wussy" mode of behavior when they encounter a woman that they're attracted to.

When you combine this Default Wuss mode with nervous body language, you create an almost impossible barrier between you ever creating ATTRACTION.

5. Just like a painting or a song, too much can ruin an interaction with a woman.

You must know when to leave, hang up, or end the interaction.

Leaving at the right moment creates tension, anticipation and mystery.

YOU EITHER INCREASE OR DECREASE ATTRACTION - IT'S ALWAYS EITHER GOING UP OR DOWN...

Of course, there are more ingredients to ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where I'm going with this...

In every situation, you can do something to INCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can do something to DECREASE it. In other words, there's always a way to dial up this magical emotion.

And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even when you've just met. In fact, this is often the best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question...

What would most guys do in the situation with the waitress (or maybe a bar tender)?

Imagine it.

You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're being Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's enjoying your company. You say "Hey, do you have email?" and she writes it down for you...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

You could...

1. Sit there and keep talking.

2. Stay and talk to her a few more times.

3. Wait around hoping that you can go home with her.

4. Leave.

So let's do a little critical thinking about this situation before I comment (or maybe this will be the comment, we'll see).

If you (1) sit there and keep talking, what's likely to happen?

In my experience, unless you're the ultimate Mac Daddy of all time, the only place to go is DOWN.

Think about it... you got her info. You did it.  She's working. She's only going to get busy, which will probably make the conversation more difficult.

And then there's the risk of saying or doing something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense, or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of anything good happening, and a great chance of having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

If you (2) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends that show up), and talk to her a few more times while ordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we're dealing with a situation that almost can't get any BETTER. Remember, she already gave you the info. Now she might start thinking "Oh, this is just another loser that hangs out all night and gets drunk with his buddies... like the other 47 guys who hit on me."

Or you might say something dumb... or you might tip her too much or too little and make a strange impression... or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you (3) wait around hoping that you can go home with her, I think you're REALLY taking your chances in the situation.

Again, unless you're the ultimate pick-up artist of all time, you're not likely to be taking home the bar tender by sitting in front of her and drinking all night... for the same reasons listed above.

But what if (4) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you: What effect does disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes the other person think "I wonder where he/she had to go so fast?"

You can also combine this with having something very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might say:

"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun."

This technique of leaving the moment I've gotten a woman's information has worked WONDERS for me... and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you stick around after you get the info, you create no tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, and have something interesting (even if you don't say what it is) to go do, then you're seen as busy... the kind of guy who has a life... someone who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging, and generally NOT having other things to do.

It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you from other guys, and something that will demonstrate all the right qualities with a single move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I recommend that you start thinking of how to increase it as much as you possibly can, because if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing else matters.

Let's shift gears.

When it comes to CREATING ATTRACTION, then taking it to the next level... and the next... all the way to the point of "getting physical" with a woman...

I've gone from not being able to even TALK to a woman I don't know... to being able to approach any woman in any situation and have a VERY HIGH chance of getting a date with her... and of course more, if I want.

If you're reading this right now, and saying to yourself "I would really like to know how he does that", then I'd like to share the secrets with you.

If you would like to learn the basics of how to be successful with women and dating, you need to go download a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating". It and the three bonus booklets that come along with it are a killer introduction to my concepts and techniques. You can download it and be reading it within a few minutes. It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

What To Do When She Challenges You

***QUESTION*** 

Hey Dave,

I've recently bought your audio series and it's just amazing! By combining what I've learned through the 'inner game' and the 'outer game' I've been able to date a lot of women I've had my eye on for a while but just never had the nerve to talk to them. One of them is a 9 and we have had rehearsal together everyday. She's one of those types that 'knows' they're pretty and you can definitely see that in her attitude. Well she tried to sit on a desk and it started to creak, and I looked over at my friend and said:

ME: "Watch, in a couple of minutes, we'll hear a crash, and we'll know it's her!"

HER: (With a look of, 'I can't believe you just said that!!) "What are you trying to say... that I'm fat?" (Which she is anything but!)

ME: (Coming right back and not really caring about the outcome) "What are you trying to say... that you're not?"

HER: (She just had the same open mouthed, wide eyed look and hit me on the arm and said) "Oh, stop it!"

She then gave me a full 'checking me out' look with that look in her eye like that told me, 'I'm ready for more!' I can't believe I said that, but I just went at it with the mindframe that I've got nothing to lose--Even though she is one of the girls I MAJORLY want to get with! Now, I've got her number and going to take her out soon.

Now to my question: I am pretty good dealing with women when there's just one, but with these play rehearsals that I'm in there are several girls that I like. I'm focusing on one right now, but I want to keep the others open for later. How do I interact with them and still keep the attraction up for me? I still want to have that 'friends/attraction' relationship going on, but I don't want to ruin the whole thing with all the other prospective women.

B.P
Houston, TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice one. GREAT example of how to handle and flirt with an attractive woman who KNOWS that she's attractive.

And as for the others, TREAT THEM THE SAME WAY!

This stuff is even MORE fun when you're talking to a GROUP of women. You can tease them about their choice of friends, what they're all wearing, and all kinds of other great stuff.

You can be "friends" with all the other women, and keep the sexual tension building for later.


***QUESTION***

Dave,

I recently (like 2 months ago) downloaded your e-book, and read it thru the first day. I actually understood the whole C&F and the tugging on the string stuff.  The approaching women (which was my problem) advice you wrote really helped, I can get a number or e-mail address at will basically. There is one problem though.  I've been using the C&F with great success so I know I am going about it the right way. The problem is that there is one girl that I want. I started talking to her, without using the C&F at all, but not being a wussy. She really was into me, and it was great I got her number, than proceeded to read your book. I used the C&F on her, and was doing it great because girls actually came over to me and gave me their number while I was talking to the girl I liked, JUST BECAUSE THEY HEARD ME TALKING TO HER! If the C&F isn't getting me anywhere with this girl, and I definitely want to avoid being a wussy cuz I am the furthest thing from it, what should I do?

A
New York City

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, the first thing you need to do is:

DON'T GET HUNG UP ON ANY ONE PARTICULAR SITUATION OR GIRL!

There's an interesting paradox that I keep seeing...

Guys write me all the time and say "I met ten women last week, but ONE of them won't call me back... how do I get HER?"

This kind of thinking is a total waste of your time.

If a woman isn't responding to you, then move on.  There are literally opportunities to meet women all around you, so say "next" and move on.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Well... let me get right to the good stuff. I used to be wuss-like, until a few months ago. I started working on the little things I need to improve, eye contact, posture, etc... Slowly I worked in all the ingredients of what we like to call the glory of cocky and funny.  Tonight was a good night. The family is out to dinner for moms birthday. The waitress who's section we were sat in was a 8-9 in my book. Instantly, I busted her with a comment about the drink selection, the air temperature. She totally took it in and gave me some fresh attitude back, so I knew I was for a treat with this treat. We eat, I throw in a few c&f here and there, and acted like I didn't notice she was there from time to time. She comes to take my plate away as it was clear to anyone that I was finished. So I declined the taking of the plate... the whole night. We get ready to leave, I come out of the bathroom to find that my family was already outside. I remind her not to take the plate as I would be back for it later. She laughs and says she'll be sure to leave it there. I'm outside maybe 2mins and go back in. She had taken the plate and I busted her! She loved it... I go to leave back outside to be with my family that way I could hurry and turn around to ask for the email). She wouldn't have it.  Three consecutive times I attempt to leave, she'll ask me a question to keep me there. So I leave with her phone number.... I would have like to received her email instead... of course she didn't have one and she wasn't allowed to use the computer at home.... which was used to my advantage of course.

I leave for home thinking 'bonus', I scored another number... when I come to read my emails and get this one below from a girl in another state who I met on a [website]. I talked to her ONCE, and this is what I get:

Hey B,

How's it going?? I hope all is great. I really enjoyed talking to you, you have a lot or unique and interesting things to say. That's what keeps me coming back to you. I really like all the jokes and quotes that you share with me. So what is it that you really look like, all you told me was you were 4'5" and like 200lbs. or something like that. It really doesn't matter to me if you don't tell me though cuz I really like your personality so that to me makes you one of the most attractive guys out there. You probably think I'm lying out my ass, but I'm not. Well I told you I would write you an e-mail and I just wanted to say "Hi" too so talk to you later. Have a nice day and hope to hear from you soon.

Bye Bye,
D

What to do eh? I'm really glad I came across your site Dave. I would ask a question except, most the time I can work them out myself... but only because of the guidance of your work. Appreciate it.

Utah Boy

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What do you mean what to do?

You're kicking ass, man. Just email her back and say "Hey, where are you taking me so I can find out if you're real or just some guy sending me emails that's pretending to be a woman..."

You're doing great.


***QUESTION***

Sup Dave,

Eye contact is made, i keep it until she turns. Then i go and talk to her. Do i keep the same intensity? Don't want to be mistaken for Jack "The Stalker". also, i've noticed that once they talk to you responsively, it becomes an easier interaction, where all her defenses drop. Most women will turn into little girls...why?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The answer to your first question:

Once you start talking to a woman, you don't need to keep up the same eye contact intensity. Do what works for you. I personally relax and act overly-casual, like a good friend, and keep about as much eye contact as she seems comfortable making after I start talking to a girl. Many guys become self-conscious about making direct eye contact with women and being perceived as a "stalker" type. Don't worry about it. A woman will think you're a stalker if she looks over three hours later and you're still looking at her intensely... and you haven't even talked to her!

And for your second answer...

One reason why women will melt and start acting like "little girls" (as you put it) is because you've gotten past her initial defenses, and proven that you're not just another WUSS who looks at her but doesn't have the balls to confidently start a conversation.

Get it?


***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I have been getting the mailbags for 2 weeks now and am soon to buy the book and to tell the truth I am not sure how you did it,  But you have converted me from wussy boy: afraid to talk to any woman i was even remotely interested in, to being able to get their email and number anytime i want.  I just wanted to show how grateful i am for that. I am still confused on one little thing, after you do all the C&F lines and you get things moving, it seems like i want to go back to being myself again before knowing how to use C&F. You said that usually once guys get the ball rolling they seem to want to lay off using C&F, and i wanted to know what you had to say on the issue of resisting the urge to revert back to our old selves?   

S
Nashville, TN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, I have something to say...

DON'T TURN INTO A WUSS BAG!

No no no... don't do it!

Resist the dark side.

If you start acting like a "nice", needy, overly-attentive, girly-man, your new-found babe will do the disrespectful tap dance of doom on your emotions, and she'll hit the road. Keep doing what attracted her in the first place, man.

The more you use the techniques, the more they'll just become part of your natural personality anyway, so keep it up.


***COMMENT***

Dear Dave,

First and foremost thank you for enlightening a former wuss! As a university student money is hard to come by at times and spending it in order to, "impress" women only led to rejection and being broke. A vicious cycle. Thanks to you i have women paying for me! YES FOR ME! When i go out they are paying for me, they are calling me and now it's hard to keep them from finding out about each other :)

Apart from praising you, this email is to highlight what i have learnt in psychology about 10 minutes ago.  The topic is "Social Emotional Impact" and basically it's all about first impressions and how people come to judge you.

Put Simply in the Dating Game: -

50% is nonverbal gestures, 45% is tone, pauses in speech and only 5% is actual words.

If we apply this to a meeting and dating, a whopping 95% of her first impression is how you carry yourself!

Regards,
A.
Australia

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I was just talking last night about this exact dynamic.

The research I read says that about 7% of your communication is the words you use, and the other 93% is your voice tone and body language.

Of course, what do most guys want to learn first?

Exactly... THE WORDS.

Duh.

Paying attention only to the words causes you to MISS OUT on the most powerful ways to attract women.

How you say the words is FAR more important than what the words are...


***QUESTION***

David your stuff is great! I have REALLY noticed a difference in myself over the past few months. I always used to worry about what I should be saying to a woman or how I should be acting around her. Now, after reading your book it's like I have been baptized to a new life filled with women and fun. I'm seriously considering getting your CD Audio series soon. I have a question that I think many guys out there would like answered. When you are around an attractive woman, should you restrain all signs of being attracted to her? I have talked to some women about this and they tell me that sometimes they need to know if a guy is interested. I have also read that your attraction should never come into play around a women and you should focus on her's. So I'm a little confused on the matter. I'd appreciate any advice.

C.P.  St. Louis, MO

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I personally think that you need to restrain all of your outward signs of "Ohmygod you are sooo hot. I would walk a hundred miles across a hot desert with no water just for the opportunity to have a date with you."

It makes you look like a Wussy in most cases.

If you're flirting with a woman, keeping the conversation interesting, using Cocky & Funny, and generally doing all the right things to create ATTRACTION and SEXUAL TENSION, then she'll KNOW what's going on without you having to "let her know".

Trust me.

***QUESTION***

hey dave,

I have had your book and been reading your newsletters for about 8 months now.  I have just recently made a commitment to write down my interactions with women.  I use your "Bridges" article as an outline of my interactions with women writing out each detail of how I approached her, getting digits,etc... However, I am kind of stuck on the first couple of "contacts" when talking to them like here is an example I wrote email to this girl

I said "what are you playing hard to get already, I know your not that busy". 

A few days later...

she replied by saying "actually I am pretty busy and oh I always play hard to get"

Now, I am totally confused about what I should say back. I know it should be something cocky and funny but I just don't know what would be something good to say back.  If you could just give me some suggestions I would really appreciate it. I am working hard on all the stuff in your book so please give a hard worker who's trying everyday some love ok? also I was just needing some topics of conversation I can talk about with her too. I know you have answered this question before but I just need to hear some suggestions in my situation ok? again your a truly a pioneer in this art.

thanks,

CC
Birmingham, AL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Some LOVE?

What are they teaching you down there in Alabama about how to ask for favors from other guys?

You're doing fine here.

Just respond like so:

"Oh, you always play hard to get, huh? I guess we'll just have to see how you good you REALLY are. Now clear your schedule, because I'm FAR more interesting than anything else that you could possibly be doing."

Do you feel the music?

This is fun, challenging, and cocky all at the same time.

Oh, and stop confusing "your" with "you're". It's OK to bend the rules of the English language, but not when it's obvious that you don't KNOW the rules. I obviously twist and distort the rules often, but it's obvious that at some point in my life I actually knew how the rules worked!


***COMMENT***

Dave,

Thanks for bringing an old womaniser back out of his shell. I read your latest mailbag just now and one of the points caught my attention " I get a lot of Emails from guys saying they used to do this stuff but forgot"  The reason is that we get conditioned from our girlfriends to be a nice guy. They call us a**holes, then when we try to be nicer guys, they moan that we don't pay them the same attention anymore and it breaks up!  So i split up from my recent ex this time last year. Until Feb, I wasted away, trying to get her back.

Then I thought...F--- it.   I made the effort to be the guy I used to be. I read your emails, got the book, got the girls I wanted. Well, some of the time anyhow. The first thing I realised when I read the book was how It went wrong from my part in my relationship, and how in trying too much to get her back I moved it further away. But you gotta learn somewhere.

I'm also helping my friends get women as well, using your tips.  It's easier to see it when other guys are making the mistakes.  Now I've got more phone calls and messages than I know what to do with, I'm out partying four nights a week. You've not only doubled my dating, but you've doubled my bloody mobile phone bill!!  I can live with it though.

Thanks very much for giving me the wake up call.

I get it
C
Scotland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, welcome back.

Remember, there's a difference between being CALLED an a**hole by a woman and actually BEING one.

If you're just being Cocky & Funny, teasing, being a challenge, etc. while being considerate, kind, physically stimulating (a-hem) and other "nice" things, and a woman calls you an "a**hole" then say "I'm really glad you like it!" Turn it into something Cocky & Funny.

The key is to not actually BECOME a mean, abusive guy.

Women love the challenge, but they don't like the abuse from bad guys.

Give them the positive without the negative, just like you're doing.

And again, welcome back.


***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,

First here's my success story. I am actually deaf and wear two hearing aids so a discoteque environment is perhaps not the right environment for me as I can struggle a bit with communication but on this night I was determined to put my money to use.  Anyway, I was dancing at this club when this pretty girl (20yrs old maybe) started to dance near me. Normally I would say nothing as I would be afraid I wouldn't hear her but this time I was going to do something. Unfortunately whilst I was trying to think of an opener another guy hit on her. I don't actually know what happened next but I saw this guy putting a ring on her finger so I jumped in and gave this spiel about how she must be 'desperate' to accept a marriage proposal from a guy she just met which cracked her up and scared the other guy away. Then started saying how we will need some bridesmaids for the wedding so I start hitting on the other girls asking for their number 'because we will need them for her(the girls) wedding' and then for good measure start asking where she want to have the honeymoon.  Funny thing is she was so busy laughing that I don't think she realised that I couldn't hear a word when she spoke to me.  That was a good night.

My question for you is: I was with this other girl and things were going well. I was being cocky and funny. When unfortunately I said something cocky but not necessary funny, though certainly not insulting or offensive (Sometime I have to push the limits just to see how far I can go and get away with). The tricky thing was the girl let me know it wasn't funny. This left me a little flustered - what do I do in such situations.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a great question...

Often, when you're first learning how to use the Cocky & Funny attitude, you'll go overboard and make the mistake of saying something that's purely arrogant... but not funny.

No problem.

You have a few choices:

1. Say something AFTERWARDS that's funny, that makes the original comment funny.

2. Say "Oh, I'm just teasing" or give her a sly smile to let her know you were kidding.

3. Laugh at your own comment to signal that it was a joke, and not to be taken seriously.

Of course, you don't want to tell a woman that you're just teasing or laugh at your own comments TOO often, because you'll look like a schmuck if you do.

The key to recovering is not letting the fact that you went overboard throw YOU off.

If she gets a little upset, just be cool and calm about the situation, and get back on track with more humor.

And don't worry about it.

You're learning a skill that will increase your success with women FOREVER, so it's OK to make a few mistakes here and there while you're learning.


***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

Your material is just golden. I have just started practicing it on waitresses, and other women who are paid to be nice to me.  For example when I was out for dinner I used the cocky and funny and get the email technique and i had the waitress laughing so hard she forgot my pizza. But she gave me a free pizza to make up.  So I got a free pizza and her email.  However I have a question for you.  There is this one girl who I have been madly in love with for almost 3 years. The problem is before I got a hold of your material I made the mistake of being a nice guy confessing my feelings for her, constantly compliment, basically being a wuss. She came on msn the other day and told me that i come on too strong and that things are getting out of hand. So what I am asking you is this situation salvageable for me or not?  i know how to use your techniques and i love this girl but should i even bother or is too late and time to move on like she said?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, just the fact that you're writing me to say "Oh Dave, I have a girl that I've been madly in love with for three years" makes you sound like a WUSSY.

Move on, and let this be a lesson to you. Don't get so hung up on a woman that doesn't like you!

I know, it's profound advice.

But take it.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

Another success story.  Forgive me for sending the last one to the wrong address (I was still drunk from that night).

At that party, a fraternity Halloween party, this girl dressed like a Playboy bunny came up to me and I poured on the C&F.  My friend was being lame and complimenting her and I told her she didn't have the body and she was more like the Easter bunny.  She hit me and then hung on to my arm until I shook her off and told her to go hide some eggs. She told me her name and I said OK and walked off. She and I ran into each other later and I started on her again. She took off her ears and held her arms out and said,  "What, you don't think I could be a Playboy bunny?"  I ran my finger down her throat to her belly ring and told her she was lacking a little.  I never would have done that before! Expecting to get hit, I was completely shocked when she kissed me after that.  It was dark and loud so I couldn't get her e-mail so I just handed her my phone and she put her number in and checked to make sure I had it.  I told her I might call her and walked off.  I went straight over to my friend and showed him her number and told him to quit being lame and good things would happen.  Another friend brought a date that night.  She told him to go get her a beer and then called him her "beer wench" for the night.  I told her that she was okay at the game but she was lucky I wasn't her date because she'd be getting her own damn beer.  I busted on her accent every time I saw her (she's from West Texas), and made her come to me to talk instead of walking to her.  Her date had gone to get her another beer and she had to leave. She ignored him for most of the evening and didn't want him to take her home if you know what I mean.  Like I said, this guy is my friend so I didn't do that to him, but I am tired of seeing these chicks walk all over him.  This is not the first time and I always wind up being the one his date flirts with.  My message to every guy out there, don't waste a LOT of time thinking about this stuff WITHOUT doing it like I did.  And for Oprah's sake, DON'T BE THE BEER WENCH!

C.
Oklahoma

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh AMEN BROTHER.

Don't be the beer wench. Indeed.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey man, love your book and your newsletter.  I am 42, losing my hair, could lose a few pounds and just got out of a hellish 15 year marriage.  With your help I have the confidence I need to have dated 15 different women in the last 6 months, including several exotic dancers up to 15 years younger than me.  Today I had a few minutes to kill so I stopped by one of the strip clubs in Atlanta.  This beautiful 28 year old dancer (who was filling in for the no-show waitress) came over to ask me what I would like to drink.  I replied some of her sweat.  With that she began to rub her chest all over my face.  I told her I was still thirsty and asked her if she had bottled any of her bath water.  Anyway, she brought me a beer and sat down with me. I had her laughing the whole time.  After she finished dancing a set I told her to stick with the waitressing. When she would look at me I would fake a yawn.  I told her I came in to watch the other dancers, not to talk to her.  I would not look at her so she would stand in front of me.  I then told her that her ass was blocking my view.  I told her a story about my joking with a male co-worker.  I suggested he get a part time job at Victoria's Secret as the "hook man", pulling G strings out of the customers asses. Yep, I got her number.  Life is good.

H in Atlanta

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, another man who understands.

I have known several guys who date a lot of "exotic dancers" and they are ALL Cocky & Funny ball busters.

For some reason, dancers really key into this attitude and become attracted to guys who have that EXTREME cockiness mixed with dry humor.

Go figure.

Well, I guess I don't have to tell you to enjoy yourself.


***QUESTION***

Jedi Master David,

I am a good looking guy with decent money, car, stuff, well built, etc. etc. and I have ALWAYS had to work my ASS off to get good looking, quality women - usually with no success. I would always wind up with some dysfunctional needy woman that would be attracted to me, instead of the others that I really wanted who were not attracted to me.  Hmmm, better call Unsolved Mysteries.  (WUSS!)  When I started reading your book my first impression was that you were encouraging people to play games and be fake in general. I finished it, felt that "maybe" there was something to it, and started to put it into action.  I experienced un-fu@%ing-believable success (like 2-3 dates per week with different good looking girls), and I realized a few things:

- I always had to work my ass off to COMPENSATE for being overly nice to women.

- "Using" the C&F "routine" is actually MORE HONEST than the crap I became while trying to impress women.  I mean really, C&F is often how we are around the ones we are most comfortable with right? 

- Women really want us to be C&F!!!  And the ones that don't and react negatively, trying to keep us in our "place"??? Who wants them anyway! They're probably dysfunctional.

- I realized that it kind of works both ways. I LOVE it when a women banters C&F with me and I get turned off by a needy, wuss woman.  My whole life I have been a HYPOCRITE by being overly nice to women and yet I wanted confident, good looking women that were NOT overly nice to me.  The irony.

Your new believer,
AP from Riverside, CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, ye of little faith. Let them be healed!

Yes, women really do love and appreciate it when you are a funny, challenging, Cocky & Funny guy. Really.

Yes, using these techniques is more HONEST than trying to manipulate women by buying gifts, flowers, and dinners.

Yes, it does work both ways. Women who are Cocky and Funny are GREAT FUN, and are more interesting all the way around.

Nice.


***QUESTION***

Dave,

i just want you and everyone else to know first of all that your CD audio series ROCKS!!! there is absolutely nothing in this world that can top it, and i'm DEAD SERIOUS! i've literally lost sleep at night by just staying awake and listening to your cd's and i just can't get enough of how impressive this material is. man, it's GREAT! i have a quick question to ask you, though. it involves a relationship so you're going to have to bear with me here. i've been dating a girl for about 6 months now and her birthday is coming up soon. the question is what shall i get her to make her keep that ever-so-powerful feeling of ATTRACTION. i want to make it really special and i remember you mentioning that it's okay to do special things like this when you've been in a relationship for a while. what shall i do or buy her? i want to tell her that it's a surprise but i can't think of any ideas here. any advice of yours would greatly be appreciated. thanks and keep up the great work! YOU ROCK!!

-R.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, as you know I don't like to venture into the "relationship" realm, but I will make a comment here (especially since you've said that nothing in the world can top my Advanced Series Program)...

If you have been seeing a woman for awhile, and you REALLY want to blow her mind, DO SEVERAL THINGS THAT SHE LIKES ALL IN ONE DAY OR EVENING.

Take her to her favorite restaurant, give her a gift of her favorite flowers, wear the clothes that you know she likes, rub her shoulders, and, um... give her some good lovin'.

Romance is wonderful, as long as you don't overdo it and come across as a WUSSY.

Focus all of the things that she likes into one small window, and good things will come of it.

Then don't do them again for awhile... AT ALL.

She'll talk about that night forever, and she'll always be wondering when the next one will come...

Now, you're making me a little nervous with this whole idea of "laying awake at night listening to my CD program".

That's a little weird, dude.

lol... but I do appreciate the compliment.

I'll tell you, I spent a lot of time putting this program together, and the fact that it has helped you meet a girl that you REALLY LIKE is fantastic (by the way, does she think it's a little weird when you guys are in bed going to sleep, and you flip on the David D. CDs? Be careful, she might dig my sexy voice...).

ANYWAY...

I spent several years working on this area of my life... and it took so much trial and error... so many nights out with friends trying every idea I could find... and so many things that didn't work just to find the concepts that worked like magic...

If you're reading this right now, and you'd like to save yourself years of trial and error, and you'd like to instantly have more success with women, then you owe it to yourself to test out my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

I'd like to send you a copy to check out... and I'd like you to try the things that you're reading about here.

And I'd like to send it to you AT MY RISK. Don't pay until AFTER you've checked it out and tested the techniques.

Really.

Oh, and of course I'll send it to you in a plain box that doesn't indicate what's inside... so it can be our little secret.

And if you haven't downloaded my eBook "Double Your Dating" yet, then that's the best place to start. It's the base and the foundation of everything I teach... and you can download it right now and be reading it in just a few minutes. Go and get it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com


And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

Body Language And Attraction

***QUESTION***

Hello Dave,

I want to say thank you for the Advanced CD Series.  The more I listen to it, the more I get out of it.  Its like when you watch a movie about 53 times, you'll always find something new that you didn't notice the previous times you watched it. When I first invested on your book, I thought that it was fantastic chic bible, now that I've invested in the CD Series, I understand more of what you talk about in the book.  The DVD Series is next...as soon as I get the ins...lol.

Anyway, to my question.  You talk about how body language will affect the moment, if you will, while conversing with a woman. Perhaps I still do not understand how the process works, or maybe its just one of those things that men aren't supposed to understand, but if you're talking with a woman, oh lets say at a baseball game, somewhere where friends may spot you, and you wonder off to your friends without her as if "you don't care," you say it is creating tension between the two of you, because she's wondering "where the hell did he go?" but is that not creating some sort of negative body language in a way at the same time?

A little help understanding this will greatly be appreciated, Dave.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't capture this concept.  Thanks again.

D.
Yuma, Arizona

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your email, this is a great question.

I think that the reason you don't "get" this particular concept is because you're trying to fit what I'm teaching you into your way of seeing the world, instead of the other way around.

You're looking for how I'm WRONG instead of how I'm RIGHT.

And I'll bet you dimes to dollars that you have not spent much time TESTING what you've learned in the real world.

I can sit here all day long and explain to you what it's like to drive a car. I can tell you how it's different steering a car when you're driving 5 miles per hour than it is when you're driving 55 miles per hour... and how it's different to back up because you have to think in reverse...

...and you could ask me questions like "Well, how do you mean it's "backwards" when you back up? Wouldn't it just feel the same?" and "Wouldn't it be distracting to turn your windshield wipers on while it's raining and you're trying to drive?"...

...and I could answer all of your questions...

...OR...

...you could just get in a damn car and go see what it's like to drive.

If you want to "capture this concept" you need to get out in the real world and DO IT.

In your example above, you asked if you're also creating "some sort of negative body language" at the same time by walking away from a woman.

What do you mean by "negative"?

And if it WORKS, WHO CARES?

Do you mean that if you walk away from a girl that you're talking to, are you going to make her think you don't like her?

GOOD, if she thinks that. Who cares?

If you walk away from a woman because you want to go talk to your friends, it's HER DEAL if she doesn't like it. Not yours.

If, on the other hand, you see your friends, but DON'T go talk to them because you don't want to offend the girl you're talking to, you're going to probably also give her several clues that you're a WUSSBAG, and that you don't have any spine or life of your own... and that you like to live in a way that pleases other people.

And guess what?

That is NOT an attractive quality.

Look...

Everything is a trade-off in one way or another.

Everything involves risk.

Everything you do can backfire.

Most guys are painfully aware of these issues.

But the problem is that most guys take this knowledge and use it the WRONG WAY.

Instead of doing what WORKS, and not caring if it "backfires" or "fails" in that particular situation, they do the "safe" thing.

Of course, anytime you "play it safe" around an attractive woman by being a "nice guy" and trying to "follow her lead" you are ABSOLUTELY going to do something that's going to backfire on you MOST of the time.

In other words, by playing it safe and being a "nice" guy, you won't get any "negative" responses or "rejection" in the moment.

But she's NEVER going to feel ATTRACTION for you, either (unless you look like Brad Pitt, or you're in Motley Crue).

The answer?

Stop worrying about "failing" or doing something that doesn't work.

It doesn't MATTER if you "fail" in a particular situation.

You didn't have anything ANYWAY.

If you want to succeed with attractive women, you're going to have to realize that things don't work the way they SHOULD work.

Attraction doesn't happen when you're a "nice, appropriate boy".

Here's an example of "being nice" vs. being a guy who lives in his own reality and does what he wants to do:

You're talking to a girl, and you decide that you like her.

You want to get her phone number and call her sometime.

Nice guy says "Um, maybe you could give me your number, and I could call you sometime and take you out".

Guy who lives in his own reality says "Give me your number" with a tone of voice and body language that is EXPECTING her to comply.

But you might way "Hey, wait a minute here... if you just try and tell her what to do and ASSUME that she's going to go along and give you her number, she might be offended".

Guess what?

You're right.

But if she's offended, then she wasn't going to go out with you anyway.

On the other hand, if she WAS going to go out with you, the direct "Give me your number" will make her FAR MORE attracted to you.

Make sense?

In other words, the things that work BEST will get you MUCH BETTER and MUCH WORSE reactions from women.

Women who have boyfriends, are married, are lesbians, or whatever will RUN away... (that is, if they can overcome their emotional attraction to your communication style).

And women who are available and interested will only feel MORE attracted to you because you are just naturally assuming that you're going to get what you want.

If you really take the time to think about it, and think through the different scenarios, you'll realize hat being direct and assumptive will work better in the long run.

Now, let's talk a bit about the specifics of what it "says" to a woman when you "walk away" from her in a situation like the one you've described...

You're talking to her for five minutes. She's laughing, you're being Cocky & Funny... you're teasing her, she's responding by hitting you and opening her mouth with the "Oh-no-you-didn't-just-say-that" look.

You see your friends.

You say "Hey, good talking to you... I'm going to go talk to my friends" and you walk away.

What happens?

Does she think "That jackass! I'm so offended that he didn't ask for my number!"?

Does she say to her friend "That guy is stupid because he could have gotten my number and he didn't even ask for it"?

Does she immediately walk away and leave?

No, probably not.

In fact, what she will MOST LIKELY do, if you were being interesting and attractive, is think to herself "What just happened? Why did he leave? Should I go with him and keep talking to him? Should I just leave because he probably doesn't like me? Did I say something wrong?".

In other words, she's going to stand there thinking about YOU and what she can do to start the conversation again.

Really.

Is this creating some kind of "negative tension"?

Yes, it is.

But it's not the kind of negative tension that makes situations with women go BAD.

It's the OTHER KIND. It's the kind that leads to SEXUAL TENSION and CHEMISTRY.

Now, the BEST thing you can do in a situation like this one is to say "Hey, I'm going to get back to my friends over there... good talking to you..." and then turn to walk away.

Right after you've "broken the connection", and she's starting to go into the "what just happened and why is he leaving" mode, you turn BACK around and say "Hey, do you have email?"... then go into the 3 minute email/number technique that I talk about in my ebook and Advanced Series.

Get it?

Another important thought...

When you have to "say" something about who you are as a man, how interesting you are, or how much she should feel attracted to you with WORDS, it automatically creates doubt... because if it was true, then you wouldn't need to SAY it.

It would be OBVIOUS.

In other words, the best way to communicate all of the most IMPORTANT things is through your BODY LANGUAGE.

What most guys try to do is CONVINCE a woman to feel ATTRACTION by telling her all kinds of things about themselves and trying to subtly drop little hints about making money, driving a cool car, etc.

BORING.

And worse, it usually BACKFIRES.

Women can smell the "I'm actually insecure, so I am trying to cover up for it by bragging" rap a mile away.

It makes them RUN (unless they're out to use you for free food and entertainment).

If you want to say all the right things in the shortest possible time, then you need to learn how to communicate with body language and voice tone ALONE.

WHAT you say isn't very important at all.

It really isn't.

HOW you say it is EVERYTHING.

Go back through your copy of my Advanced Series and notice all of the subtle body language points that I make, and think about what you've just read... it will pull everything together for you.

Oh, and if you're reading this right now and you would like to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you by using your body language and voice tone ALONE, then you need to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques program...

I spend a lot of time going over the specifics of how to communicate beliefs, status, and self-image through body language alone.

This material isn't available anywhere else, in any program, at any price.

This is part of what makes my program unique... and when you see the body language of some of my special guests, you'll immediately "get it", and begin to understand how you need to modify your own body language to trigger ATTRACTION with women... rather than triggering FRIENDSHIP. 

...and if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating" yet, then you need to do that immediately. You can download it right now and be reading it within just a few minutes. It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/Ebook/

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

How Attraction Works For Women

AN INTERESTING STORY (OR SO)...

There are two basic stories for how men and women "start off" together, and two basic stories for how men and women "end up".

Through all of time, I'm sure that men and women have been playing out these stories... and I'm sure that they'll continue to play them out long into the future (that is, unless I have something to say about it... and I do).


THE MEETING STORIES

Here's "Meeting Story #1":

Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him... so instead he tries to "pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no "sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".

Here's "Meeting Story #2":

Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him, boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful physical and emotional response for boy that she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together".

As I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation, and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.


THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"

Let's assume that somehow boy and girl actually "get together". Things usually go one of two ways after that...

Here's "End Up Story #1":

Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he "REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to share "how he feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive.  Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once had for boy, and has no way of explaining or understanding why. Girl leaves boy, and boy is left wondering what happened.

Here's "End Up Story #2":

Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let himself become a Wussy who chases girl around "sharing how he feels" and become boring. Boy keeps the relationship interesting, and he keeps challenging girl. He stays in control of himself, and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted to him into the future.

And again, as I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation, and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.

If you look at your experience with women, I'm sure you'll see that these short stories describe MOST of the experiences you've had.

Now, of course there are slight twists and variations, but the message is clear:

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR WOMEN... AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.

If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it works, then you are destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of your life. It's very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic solution" by accident...


ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN--VERY DIFFERENT

The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to.

But the key is:

1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.

2) Understanding YOURSELF so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring, and turn a good thing into a bad one... but instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track.

If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women.

Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on.

OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men.

Different how?

What do I mean by that?

Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS... not an "event". It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands how it works.

For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an "event", meaning that it's either there or it isn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not the woman understands how it works. (As an interesting side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention is to manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)

So think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism" more like a volume knob than a light switch.

It's like a fantastic, classy old car that needs to warm up for a long time before you can drive it... not like a brand new Honda that you can start up and get right on the freeway with.

Here's a little secret about women and ATTRACTION: If you'll just take a little longer in every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION, she'll love you for it... and you'll experience rewards that will make the extra time you spent seem like the best investment of your entire life.

Here are a few specific tips for you for the "Meeting Phase":

1) Start with something STRONG, not with something WEAK.

When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he usually makes the mistake of letting the woman KNOW that he's nervous and weak.

Don't do it.

Do something STRONG.

Challenge her.

If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her. If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she's doing something, tell her that you could do it better.

When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE, she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME IS ON.

If you just chase after her like the 100 other Wussies that have been bothering her this week, you will just be another boring, predictable face in the crowd.


2) Keep the TENSION UP.

One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the line go slack".

This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry" or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.

Just because she starts doing things that hint to you that she's interested doesn't mean that it's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.

Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so do more!

3) Tease.

The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.

One of the meanings has to do with doing things that are slightly annoying to get a response from someone.

The other meaning is subtly different, and has to do with drawing out a response that you want by doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.

Do both.

If you're about to kiss her, wait until your lips are so close that you can almost feel her... and then STOP. Pull away, and smile.

If you want to know how she feels about you, say "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of voice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO I DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably DOES "love" you.

Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.

And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:

1) Never become BORING.

Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to ATTRACTION.

Don't do either.

Of course, telling a man not to be predictable is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.

Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.

We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.

But when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd better figure out a way to STOP IT.

There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing what you're about to do or say.

2) Don't hand over control.

Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who are overly controlling. What I am saying is that women don't like guys who are always saying things like "I don't know, what do YOU want to do, baby?".

Women don't want men that they can control, so don't be one.

3) Respect yourself, and keep your own interests.

When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much time as possible with her.

This is natural, of course.

But there's a big danger here, as well.

If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less interesting to HER.

In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT HER.

And I think it's VERY important to keep improving yourself as a person, and continue to be a guy that she can look up to and respect.

As soon as you start acting like she's going to be around forever, she'll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you.


THE BIGGER PICTURE

Now, as you read these examples, can you see the bigger picture forming?

Can you see the deeper message?

The deeper message is that you need to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, and you need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.

Now, where does this all begin?

It begins with YOU.

And it begins with you learning how to control yourself and your emotions. It begins with you needing to understand the history of how and why men and women become attracted to each other. It begins with you learning the basics of how to use subtle body language and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

And what's the best way to get this "in depth" education?

It's my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

It's over 12 full hours of me teaching all of my best concepts for meeting and dating women, including everything from the history and psychology of ATTRACTION, to how to improve your self image and overcome your fears of approaching women to how to meet women in every situation... including online.

This program contains HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of the best ideas and techniques for meeting women... all in one place... and all digitally recorded and edited.

All the details are here, along with some great free audio and video samples:

DYD Advanced Series

And if you'd like a great introduction to my ideas, then you need to go and download my online eBook "Double Your Dating". It's jam packed with great information, and you can go download it right now here:

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com/Ebook/


I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

Dating Younger Women, Meeting Dancers, And How To Be Cocky & Funny...

***SUCCESS STORY***

Davie D,

I have had your book and newsletters for almost 2 years. Yesterday I sent away for your advanced series. Your material is quality and obviously the way to go (I'm ridiculously cheap and I wouldnt have spent the extra money on the advanced series if i knew it wouldnt work)

My most recent story goes like this: I was working and met some female (9.0 on my scale) exactly the type of face i like. She had a hard-to-get personality.  I teased her and had some good conversation for a few minutes. She had to go but returned a while later asking 'what time it was' or some stupid question like that that you can ask anyone and still look casual.  (typical of girls i have busted on to come back and ask some stupid question) I continued to bust on her and maintain my uninterested/laid back mood.

I told her to write her number down, she did andshe told me 'she liked me' or some pick up like that, i said "yeah i like me too"

She wanted to do something later, I said 'like what' (just seeing where she was coming from). She smiled and didnt really answer, to which i followed up with "whatever, you couldnt handle this"

I had a friend come by who i work with and she started talking to him 'acting' interested (i assume to see how i would handle it). So ignored them and went on with my stuff, instead of cock blocking i bragged a little about him.

she said she had to leave and was standing right in front of me for a couple seconds so i just moved in for a kiss and she did also (btw that was after less than a total of 15 minutes of talking). She left and I went back to my work, but not before a little 3-second Conan O'Brien dance behind my desk. earlier she told me to call her that night so i called her the next night.

That night she wanted to get busy and I would keep backing up when she went in to kiss me and didnt act too thrilled about the whole occasion. She took her shirt off right after she got in my house and i told her to put it back on and that she could take it off later. that night she said "Your the only guy who I can't figure out" and "I'm so lucky to be here with you" and even "How come you picked me, you deserve so much better" This beautiful, hard-to-get girl's personality changed right in front of me. And i used the beautiful "just say please" line once again.

I love you Dave (but not like that you sicko!)

-D from CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great story.

You've mentioned a couple of my favorite types of "comebacks" to things women say.

In one situation, she said "I like you" and you replied "I like me too".

In another, she mentioned that she wanted to do something later with you, and you replied "Like what?"... and then said "Whatever, you couldn't handle this".

You TOTALLY get the equation:

COCKY + FUNNY

In your first comeback, you've taken something "nice" that she was saying about you, and turned it into a perfect opportunity to dial up the tension in a funny way.

"I like you"... "Yea, I like me too". Classic.

In your second comment, you really add one of the "magic ingredients" of ATTRACTION called being a CHALLENGE.

Most women have never had a guy say something like "You couldn't handle this" to them.

It's so surprising to a woman when she hears this kind of thing... and it's INCREDIBLE when it's done in a FUNNY way.

Unless you understand the dynamics of how women become attracted to men, this stuff doesn't make any sense at all.

Remember when you were a kid, and you had those little cars that you could wind up by pulling them backwards on the floor... then when you let go they would spin out and fly forward?

You could feel the tension building as you pulled the car backwards... winding it up. And when you let go, it would scream out of your hand. I always thought those were pretty cool.

Well, there was another great lesson in those cool little cars: You need to dial up the tension before you can release the energy inside.

Your story and comments do a GREAT job of this.


***SUCCESS STORY***

David,

I, like you, am a slow learner with women and I own nearly every product that you sell (which i am incredibly grateful for).  And proof of my learning about women came just the other night. I had been achieving mild success with women but nothing to sneeze at. 

Anyhow, I was in a strip club with some friends (fyi...i HATE strip clubs, seriously) just chatting it with some people i hadn't seen for a long time sittin in sniffler's row with my back cocked to the side, halfway ignoring the "dancers". So, I held up $3 for a beer just as the dancer was coming my way and right before she got in my face i notified the bartender for a Bud Light, then turned away. This, obviously, pissed her off.  I continued to sit relaxed, just chillin, ya know. Ten minutes later she comes out in somewhat normal attire and sits right next to me and starts in with how I am an a**hole and she hated me.  I just smile demurely and say, "Well i'm glad you could determine that in the first 5 minutes rather than waste your time" and did NOT look away until she did. Then, not 5 minutes of conversation later, she confessed to me that she hated me yet was "so attracted to me" she couldn't explain it.  At this time i am like "wow, this sh** is like magic". Next i am making out with her in front of the ENTIRE bar after she had bought me 2 beers and 2 shots.  Meanwhile, this tool of a man that had tipped her in excess of $200 that night was groping her while we were playing volley-lime with our tongues.  Holy sh** were all the dudes in the club impressed and needless to say she left with me to finish the deal.  I went from nobody in a club of perverts spending big money to the stud that left with free alcohol and the hottest stripper there.

I always was a believer in you, David, and the other night just reaffirmed my beliefs.  Talk to you again soon......

D the Cunnilingualist

SoDak

   
>>>MY COMMENTS:

What can I say?

I've already thought of a few things...

1) Use protection. Lots of it.

2) Don't marry her, no matter how good the sex happens to be.

3) Wipe that DAMN Sh**-Eating-Grin off of your face already. It's bad enough that every guy hates you... lol.

So when you're finished playing with fire, do yourself a favor and test out your skills in a bookstore, art show, or other place where you might meet more "quality" women.

Oh, and shut up.


***QUESTION***

I'm 69 years old, bald, 20 lbs overweight and live in a one room apartment. Give me one good reason why I should spend $39.95. 

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The one good reason is the thing you left out.

It's because you're 69, bald, 20 pounds overweight and live ALONE in a one room apartment.

It's the ALONE thing that you want to fix, man.

I'll even give you another reason to invest in my eBook.

If you don't feel that it was the best $39.95 you've ever spent, just email and tell me to cancel... and you won't be charged. You have seven full days to check it out FREE before you pay.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

Your material is great! I went to this library in town where this very beautiful woman works. There are about 6 women that work there (no men). This woman has had very wealthy men date her and policemen and a body builder etc. I'm 49 and bald and don't make a lot of money but she has fallen for me!

Every time I'd go in there I'd get cocky and funny with all of them and this woman wants to date ME!  So we've been dating for a couple weeks now and she's really falling in love with me.

Her birthday was about 5 days after we first met and I didn't buy her anything. She obviously finds this very attractive that I feel confident enough in myself that I would do that.

Last night she said she loved me for the first time. I held my ground and refused to be intimidated into saying I love her too. She was flabberghasted when she asked: "Don't you love me?" I said I need to know her more.

This morning she went to town and got me a pop and pop corn and wouldn't allow me to pay her back and she brought it to me.

I've never been able to do this before. I was always the very nice and shy guy.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, it's OK to be a nice guy. Just do it in a way that doesn't make women use the WORD "nice" to describe you.

The fact is that when you're being Cocky & Funny, you're actually being VERY nice... and women know it.

They love the fact that you're paying attention to them in a way that's INTERESTING, entertaining, funny, and unpredictable.

Good for you. Sounds like you've met a great gal.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

I have emailed you before with a success story but this email is more of a reply to the guy who felt his age of 37 was an issue with girls in their 20's. 

My thought on this is age is only a barrier if you choose to make it one.  Sure there are girls out there where they have a problem with an age difference.  To me these girls are looking for someone to settle down with, bring to her parents for Sunday dinner and have the approval of her friends and not someone to date for sake of dating.

I met this Latin girl at my gym who on a scale of 1 - 10 is about a 9.  After an aerobic boxing class we went out for a cup of tea.  We talked and I did a little C&F and she said to me before I leave remind me to give you my phone #.  I didn't even get to ask for it but that's OK. 

The other day we were at a Wendy's for lunch when she told me I was incredible.  She went on to say I don't crowd her I give her, her space. Keeping the C&F going I told her I agree I am incredible. I told her if it wasn't for the fact I like girls so much I would give myself a hug and kiss.

Well, Dave, we have been dating a few months now and about the age thing she is 27 and I am 56. It was on our second date when she asked how old I was and without any hesitation I just said 56. Just being honest and straight with her.  Now, granted I do not look nor act my age for she thought I was 36 or so, I am into Hip Hop & Techno music and started taking Salsa dance lessons, there are a number of Latin clubs here in Miami.

So age is only a number to me and a lot of the girls I have gone out with.  When a girl I date tells her girl friend how old I am the girl friend thinks her friend is dating this old man until I meet her and she doesn't see an age difference any more.

N.  Miami Beach

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great points.

I know many men who date women that are 10 or even 20 years or more younger.

I read an interesting statistic that men who get divorced wind up marrying women that are an average of 10 years younger the second time, and that one in five men marries a women 20 years younger the second time.

Thanks for the email.


***COMMENT***

Dear Dave,

Your stuff is right on target...It took me a week to buy your ebook which is well worth it!! I don't even think a genie could have given me better luck with women than the things you teach in ~THAT~ book.  Anyway onto my SUCCESS STORY...

I'm 5'9" weigh 140 pounds normal teenage acne problems nothing too big. The thing that got me down is I have kind of a big nose which brought my self-esteem sky rocketing downwards and kept it there for the 18 years I have been alive. Your newsletters alone gave me the confidence I needed to approach a woman. Well make a long juicy story short. HOT woman bumps into me at gym. I ask did you grab my ass and really crank up the ball busting and C&f routine ...a week later I [had sex] for the first time before I even got my first kiss. LOL. And to all you idiots who ask dumb questions before you read the book...well...you're idiots...Thanks Man!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Hey, good job.

And I appreciate your plug for my book.

I also wish that more guys would invest in themselves and get my book before asking questions.

The questions would be so much better, and the answers would as well.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dear Dave,

So, the reason I haven't written you since my last message is because I've been too busy having the best sex ever. Seriously.  I've got your last 20 newsletters sitting in my inbox because I haven't had time to read them. That's how powerful your interview series has been.  It is INVALUABLE. Just hearing you talk was a great educational tool.  I mean, the level of confidence that you both exude about everything, not just dating, makes me feel respect for you even before I've actually tried what you suggest.  Then I try incorporating your tips and guidance into my own relations with women, and WOW what a difference. Listening to Marie's insights (and GOD does she sound sexy!!!) helped me realize that women actually WANTED me to be the type of person I was naturally, but I was afraid to be a MAN.  And it's the fear that drives them away. What a turn around.

So, back to this incredible sex  :D!!. I ran into this sexy girl I knew 2 years ago when I was in college.  I always had a thing for her, but I was so shy and awkward, there was no chance it was gonna go anywhere.  But now I've been reading the newsletters, I read the eBook and pamphlets, and I've listened to the Interview series thus far (3 times) and I just GET IT.  So I run into her after not having seen her in 2 years, turn on the charm DD style and her first response is, "God, you seem so...mature."  I knew it was on then.  Dave, every time I get a test, I just think "WWDDD: What would Dave DeAngelo do?"  For instance, the other day, after giving her a considerable hard time, she said, "You know, being too cocky is just NOT sexy" So I turn to her, flash a confident smile and say, But you don't think I'm too cocky," She starts laughing and throws her arms around my neck and says, "I hate that you're always right."  She says things to me I never thought I'd hear a girl say, like "How did you get to be so cute?" and "Why is it you always know exactly the right thing to say?" And, on top of that, she's always begging me for sex.  BEGGING.  And what's more, she's okay that I'm dating other women, as long as I still see her once a week. Do you realize what I'm telling you? This incredible sexy women, who I could hardly look in the eyes 2 years ago, is begging me for sex (and doing crazy things in bed), bragging to her friends about me, and allowing me to do anything I want with anyone I want.  It's the type of story I wouldn't believe if I weren't living it.

Thank you, Dave. 

And keep those interview CD's coming!!!

CK
Los Angeles.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, it's amazing when you finally start "getting" how it all fits together, and seeing these types of responses from women.

By the way, thanks for the plug for my Interview Series. I'm getting KILLER feedback on it.

As a reminder, details are here:

DYD Interview Series


***SUCCESS STORY***

Hi Dave.

Im not gonna say that you're a god or anything, but you are a good guy who seems to know his stuff.  I'd be a 21 year old virgin right now if it wasn't for you. I began reading your emails about 9 months ago, while trying to figure out why my last girl left me before we even got into bed together. Your book made the answer painfully obvious. I was just too nice to her. I did everything to please her, and in the process ended up tuckin my balls between my thighs.  After downloading your book, my success has come about gradually. I've just been gradually being more open with women, less worried about offending them, and saying even rude or controversial things to them just for laughs. Like I said it takes time to get use to doing this, but I really put it to use well with a girl I met this summer, and wow. I was amazed at how easy it was to get a reasonably attractive woman to sleep with you. Well that one didn't work out, but I don't care cause I've had more success with others since. Rock on Dave.

B from Michigan

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is some good stuff.

It's important to test these ideas out until you become comfortable with them... and for some guys it's VERY unusual or uncomfortable to say "rude or controversial things just for laughs" when it comes to women they're attracted to.

Most guys fear that if they say the wrong thing, a woman won't "like" them.

The problem with this kind of reasoning is that women don't like men who PUSSYFOOT around looking for approval.

So by winning, you lose.

And yes, women like sex too.

They tend to enjoy it more with men who act like MEN, and not women who act like WOMEN.

Thanks for your email, and Rock On yourself, dude.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

I have been receiving your emails and bought your book, and I think I'm starting to get it. I am practicing to learn a new skill now, so that I can remain "in character" as cocky and funny, while I work to assimilate the approach into my personality.

A recent newsletter helped me overcome my fear of being direct with women. I always was afraid to make a move because I figured the attractive ones were already married, hooked up, or lesbians. I thought I would be embarrassed and feel stupid if I made a move on someone who isn't available.

You said simply ask "Are you single?" I agree that it does say all the right things. So last week I tried it, and the woman was married. But I could see she was complimented, and I felt good about the exchange.

The next time, a woman said she was dating. Again, it was a positive experience.

Then yesterday, a hot woman came into my office, and she seemed to be getting into me. So I asked her if she was single, and she bent over backwards to assure me that she was.

Then I shocked myself when I took it a step further, blurting out "Well, but are you straight?" This knocked her for a loop -- and as she insisted just how straight she really is, I noticed an immediate increase in her feminine behaviors.

So I busted her again, "Well, I just couldn't be sure."

Thanks, Dave. I do think I'm starting to get it...

T.

      
>>>MY COMMENTS:

NIYYYYYYYYYCE!

Yes, you are demonstrating that you're starting to get it.

By the way, once you get a woman on the defensive (in a fun way, like you did) it's always fun to keep going... and accuse her of all kinds of crazy things.

After she said that she was straight, you could have said "OK, that's good. But can you cook?".

Once you're on a roll, stay with it. These first moments present an amazing opportunity to turn up the heat and really amplify the ATTRACTION.


***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,

Love your stuff and these e-mails. Really informative.

I've a couple of points about the last set.

1) NLP can work in some cases but usually as a back-up to your stuff. Women love it AT THE RIGHT TIME but use it too much and you sound wussy. DON'T give up the cocky-funny approach EVER in a relationship. Keep the woman guessing, unsure and bust other women while she's around you. You don't have to be trying to pick up women while she's there, just teasing shop assistants, waitresses, her friends, etc. shows her you're in control and attractive to other women; they won't want rid of you then....... ever. They love it and it keeps them on their toes. It makes you unpredictable, confident, assertive (in a positive way) and not needy and wussy.

2) One 37 year old guy in your previous e-mail said he felt he couldn't approach younger women. He didn't want to be thought of as a creepy old guy. Well, I'm 48, split 3 years ago (I've 3 kids!), thought my world had ended and I'd no future. I could've retreated to a lonely cocoon-like existence but decided, "What the hell it's my turn now!" This really pissed off my ex-wife who wanted to split! I began to study everything I could find on women, how they thought (or didn't think), what made them tick (or didn't), why - to us guys - they were so irrational, the "let's just be friends" thing, etc. The only thing I've found that REALLY works is your stuff (I've had the book for ages). I have had loads of success with younger women (20s and 30s). My current girl is 34, attractive and I feel like a million dollars when I walk into a club or bar with my piece of arm candy (other women never stop looking and you know they're attracted to a guy who can pull younger women, they're curious, it's amazing). She says this is the best relationship she's ever had. So, my advice to older men is ignore everyone, go have some fun, approach who the hell you like,  just use the cocky and funny routine and you WILL succeed more than you'll fail.  Life's too short so get out there and enjoy. I wouldn't have believed it could be like this.

Thanks for everything and helping me get a life back.

J.
Edinburgh, Scotland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You've made some great points here...

Let me comment on one or two of them.

One thing you mentioned is demonstrating how you can control situations with women... so that the woman you're with KNOWS IT.

It's always interesting to me how COMPETITIVE women are.

And there's nothing quite like a woman knowing that her man can meet other women whenever he wants.

In fact, I'll bet that a large percentage of women who stay in bad situations with men are only there because they know that their man can go meet other women anytime he wants, and they just can't deal with the jealousy that it triggers... so they stay.

I know this doesn't make much logical sense, but hey, it's reality.

Now, as you know, I really don't like the idea of "manipulating" women by lying and playing with their emotions for your enjoyment.

But if you naturally like to have fun with other people, and your girl just happens to be there when you're joking around with the girl behind the counter at the coffee shop, then you'll probably get some big benefits from it.

You also mentioned that when you decided to start learning about how to be more successful with women it pissed off your ex.

That's pretty typical.

I mean, let's face it... just between us guys... you probably allowed yourself to become a pretty boring, predictable husband... lol. So now that you're getting your game together she's thinking to herself "That JACKASS! Why didn't he act like this before?! Now other women get to enjoy the part of my man that I always wanted more of!".

A lot of guys write me to ask how they can get their ex-girlfriend back. The reality is that the reason she probably left you is because you had NO GAME. You were about as sexually interesting to her as Homer Simpson. If you want to get her back, go learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION, and then date other women. And if it's possible to fix your relationship, that combination usually does the trick pretty nicely.

Finally, I agree with you about approaching the women you find attractive.

Look, no one is going to live your life for you.

No one is going to go meet attractive women for you.

You need to take control of your own life, and meet the kinds of women you want to meet.

Thanks for the reminder.

...and if you're reading this right now and you're thinking "Yea, that's what I need... to take control of my life and my success with women", then guess what?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

You do.

And if you'd prefer to save yourself a few YEARS of trial and error (or more), and a lot of MONEY and TIME, then I suggest you check out my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

It will definitely help you take your success with women to a whole new level, whether you're just starting out or you already have some success with women.

All the details, plus some great audio and video samples are here:

DYD Advanced Series

If you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then I'd like to remind you of the offer I mentioned to the guy earlier in this newsletter.

Here's how it works:

You download it right now and pay nothing. If you like it, keep it and you'll automatically be billed. If you don't like it, just cancel your order, and you won't be charged.

What's better than a 100% money-back guarantee?

THIS IS.

All the details are here:

DYD Ebook

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.